


"HE"

by Galaxiel_AXA



Category: Finder no Hyouteki | Finder Series
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-24
Updated: 2016-09-05
Packaged: 2018-05-28 20:32:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 33,523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6344116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Galaxiel_AXA/pseuds/Galaxiel_AXA
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Finding true love is hard and keeping it is harder. </p><p>Finder is owned by Ayano Yamane. I have no claim with anything on this finder characters.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [obsidianwitch13](https://archiveofourown.org/users/obsidianwitch13/gifts), [c0c0ly](https://archiveofourown.org/users/c0c0ly/gifts), [Zabirel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zabirel/gifts).



> obsidianwitch13 and Zabirel. I hope this story ease the pain in your hearts.
> 
> c0c0ly this story was gifted to you back then and it’s a shame not to share it again with everyone.
> 
> Originally published on 06-13-2014 under my old username kaname143, updated and much longer. (Love Is All There Is)

We all want to fall head over heels truly in love, and we all want the other person to love us back exactly with the same intensity right?

But that’s not usually the way it turns out. In fact, we can all think, "if only everything will turns out the way we want it"

Both people may be in love, but it always seems one person is more in love than the other. If you had to choose, which would it be?  

Passionately and completely love someone else even if they don’t feel as powerfully as you? Or the other way around, even if you don’t feel exactly the same towards them?

Would it be better if both felt the same, or would it be impossible to achieve?

What if you’re hurt in the past? Would you be able to still love strongly, or you rather choose to protect yourself with invisible shield.

How far are you wiling to bare oneself to another person, and trust them with all your heart and soul?

These are just few questions we all heard once in our lives that both unnerved anyone and made things startlingly clear. Is it more important to love someone with all your heart, or to be loved by someone with all of his or hers?

 

 

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Finding true love. How do you find it? Where do you start looking? How do you know if it’s real? Does it come with manual?

Loves manual. That’s a thought. Everything should be easy if life and love has a manual he could follow. He wouldn’t be struggling like this to find happiness for himself. He may have been successful in life, but love is a different field, which is somewhat unknown to him. Asami Ryuichi was dating a man, but the current relationship was going down on a much sour note. His partner Yukio wanted a serious commitment and to settle down, but he was undecided because they were always arguing on and off, and just a week ago they’re fighting about stupid little things.

He has reasons to believe that Yukio was into him for public display rather than love, and his words are always the exact opposite of how his actions are behind close door. Nonetheless, Asami was trying to save the relationship and invited Yukio to a local bar to spend time with each other; his lover was very cold after an hour together and walked away from him for good. Stating he found another lover and had fallen out of love for him. It hurt him more than he’s willing to admit to himself, and at that point, he wonder if he’s ever going to meet the right person. Was he asking too much for a partner? Was he being picky or optimistic thinking he can save the failing relationship? His thoughts were jumbled while walking along the dimly lit streets.

He turned to stop noticing a small bar tucked away at the corner. It wasn’t a flashy establishment and it’s smaller compared to the ones before this, but he gave it a try anyway. There are a total of six tables that can fit two to four people. The bar has at least ten chairs total around it. There were two other clients sitting at the bar and he was the third. He decided to sit at the far left side of the bar and enjoy his last drink for the night quietly and admiring the soft glow of the lights.

“You’re new; I’ve never seen your face around here before” The elderly barkeeper stated sliding a glass of whisky on the rocks towards his.

“Yes master, I didn’t know this bar even existed until a few minutes ago. I happened to stumble in here by chance,” He answered by nodding his head.

“That happens a lot around here, majority of our regulars were just like you, but they always comeback. The bar itself is not here for profits, just a simple haven for anyone to relax and enjoys each other’s company, so let me know if you need anything else young man and enjoy your stay”

Asami admitted the barkeeper was right. The place has a calming atmosphere. The music was not loud, just about right. The furniture’s and fixtures has a touch of vintage in it and it was classy in its own way.

As the night progresses more and more clients would come and go consistently. All walks of life from younger generation to elderly businessman would wonder in. The bar may not be extravagant, but it’s inviting enough to have a constant flow of bodies and to make a small profit for it.

He was about done and had decided to retire for the night, when a younger man with mahogany blond hair emerges from the doorway before midnight strikes. The boy caught every ones attention like an intense magnet. The way everyone smiles and flocked at the blond boy with familiarity makes them regulars in the establishment.

Asami had never completely understood the translucent effect of a single person illuminating those around him. But they definitely exist. One presence that can bring everything to life contaminated everyone with laughter and smiles alone.

Akihito has been living a dual life. By day, he wears a formal suit, glasses, is well-groomed hair, and conducts himself professionally, playing the part of an extraordinary salary man. He excels at his work and is currently related to multiple major corporations. Nightlife by far is his favorite part of the day. The only time he can let his hair down and be himself without having to worry about anything including his appearance. He could wear his vintage jeans, sneakers, and without his glasses which actually makes him look younger than his real age. He can free his mind and body to do whatever he likes. Occasionally he would cruise the night for a relaxing drink, hoping from bar to bar, but sometimes he just wants to be alone in a luxury hotel, Onsen, joyriding, hiking or even just a hotel spa instead of going home to his condo. It’s his way of recuperating. He firmly believes that everyone deserve to be themselves during their personal time to minimize the pressure and stress of their “days” personality.

When he’s in a mood for sex he would accept a one-night stand granted the other person can rouse his interest enough for him to go all the way down dirty. It’s actually convenient for him like this, he’s able to choose who he feels like having sex without limiting himself to one partner in particular, although sometimes he feels lonely he has become accustomed to it. There was a time that he tried to have a serious relationship with both gender, but he would always end up getting hurt and alone. Being a mistress is also a taboo for him. Many have tried to persuade their way in, but not enough appeal to actually have him jump the gun. Having an affair with his boss or business associate is not on his to do list either for a reason. He does wish sometimes he could have a lover. Someone who can understand him, warm his heart not just his body. One would cook and care for him dearly. Pick his spirits up when he is down and someone he can talk to. He didn’t mind having to be spoiled a little, if that someone allows him to be.

Tonight was a nice break from his long and tiring projects. He should just enjoy it and not think of what he didn’t have in life.

“Aki-chan you came at last, I thought you would never want to play with us anymore”

One of the patrons he knew had asked. Man and woman kissed him left and right. Some are just casual greeting, while others are more intimate conveying an invitation for the night.

“If you’re here, that means you’re on the prowl, maybe I can keep you company tonight, what do you say Aki” one of the man boldly offered.

“Ha ha, funny you guys, but tonight I’m in a mood to unwind and drink, maybe later I’ll consider it” as he walks to the bar. He wasn’t paying any especial attention to anyone at the moment, but maybe later on he would find somebody that will arouse his personal taste.

“Master it’s been a while, the usual please man I’m beat”

 “Right away Aki, whenever you’re around this place is lively as always” the barkeeper replied.

“Oh, really, did I miss anything while I was gone?” 

“No, just the usual, they’re always looking for you whenever they would come around”

“Is that so” Carrying the drink in his hand, Aki walks to group of people who didn’t notice a loner sitting at the far left corner of the bar.

Asami couldn’t help but gape at the blond man with hazel brown eyes. He has a face that will be hard to forget. He seems so happy in a crowd, someone close but far at the same time. The boy may have been smiling, but his eyes reflect something else. There was a trace of pleasure or regret, those beautiful eyes that concealed something very delicate inside its shell.

“He’s a cheerful fella, but he’s the aloof and loner type,” the barkeeper told him, which he didn’t notice. Was he transparent as well from other point of view?

“Then again, he always makes it clear from the start to anyone that peaks his interest and boundaries are drawn, so everyone is happy, no harm done”

“This bar didn’t bother if your straight or you’re batting from the other team, and everyone respect that, although that fella is kind of a star here, sometimes our clients would come around just to get a glimpse of him”

“We haven’t seen him here for about two weeks now, he must be very busy at work. He comes and go and would sometimes disappear for weeks or months” as the bar keeper continued.

He was indulging more information than needed, but he didn’t mind at all. He was actually pretty interested. Asami didn’t mind staying for a while, as he listens. Maybe it was the drinks, or that mysterious look in the boy’s eyes, but the barkeeper was accurate. The younger man fits perfectly in the crowd with confidence. Every movement seems animated in his eyes. The young blond must have had noticed he was being stared at. Turning around and scouting the bar. His eyes landed on his shadowed figure. He casually raises his glass and the blond did the same. It was a mutual understanding.

Aki felt a relentless sensation. Someone is boring a hole at his back for a while now and with dim lights around the bar, it took him longer to locate the owner of those eyes. That was odd. He never noticed it earlier.

”Hello” Aki approaches afterwards and introduced himself to him, as the young man stretches his hands. The spark between them was far stronger.

“I can tell you’re interested, since you’re staring for a while now, and I feel the same way, so why don’t we give it a try?”

“I see, you’re a bold one, but I have to admit the attraction is mutual,” Asami answers with a side smirk. A closer look reveals his hair was light brown and streaked with blond. His figure was just the icing on the cake. Lean muscles, slender frame, perfect pouty plump lips, blemish free complexion that just completed the package.

“Just a couple of condition before we take it that far”

“1st, I want to make sure you’re clean” 

“2nd, no personal questions, I won’t ask you, you’ll do the same for me”

“3rd, no commitment, no stalking and we are not in a relationship”

“If you’re okay with all of the above then I’m all into it, so what do you say?"

Asami had to think; all the condition the younger man just uttered to him was all against his rules and belief. The kind of thing he would never do in the past, but maybe he can give it a try approaching from a different angle. He had followed his own rules and beliefs in the past and his relationship never work. Maybe if he discards all the rules he placed. The result may not be so bad.

“So, what you’re implying is more like fuck buddies” he can’t help but to clarify.

“Not really, more like friends with benefits, or convenient companion. You scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours”

“Let’s try to keep it simple and real, just in case someday one of us finds someone, and we say goodbye to each other. No string attach and less complications”

Akihito had no intention of being in a relationship. He has his reasons and those who knew him kept their distance, and those who didn’t learned quickly to keep their distance and never crossed his boundaries.

They left the bar together and were in the hotel bed within an hour, once the agreement was done. He didn’t know who made the first move, but their first kiss was so sweet. Asami knew instantly the boy fit perfectly in his hands. No words were exchanged, and in seconds their clothes was on the floor. Aki’s body was gorgeous and sensitive, so much so that Asami was lost for words. The young blond lips were very soft and plump. He can’t stop sucking them alternately between soft and hard kisses. His voice rose in broken bursts, and dripping thick like honey from his lips. He held little back, hearing the approving moans below him.

“I want to taste you Asami” as the boy moved on top of him, and ran his fingers over his hairless chest, down his belly to take hold of his prick.

“I want to eat your hard cock” the boy spoke full of lust in his eyes.

Aki was an expert with his tongue, sliding down his body nibbling and kissing the surface of his skin. Burying his head between he’s masculine thighs. Aki licked a slick trail down over Asami’s smooth ball sac. He chose the larger of the two globes to fit between his lips and suckle. His cock was almost a perfect fit for the heated cavern of Aki’s throat, but it was too big for the younger man to try. Going down to the soft, black hairs, Aki sucked up from the root to the tip.

He reaches down and pulled the boy up switching position with him. He would have come if he didn’t. Using his thumbs, he opened Aki for a more thorough, more attentive prodding. Replacing his tongue with two of his fingers, already leaking, Aki bucked upwards, his thighs rising to frame Asami’s head. The boy demanded more and Asami gave it without holding back. He tried to hold the boy still, but beneath him, Aki was out of control. The way Aki pushed back against him, he knew the younger man needed something else. He immediately switch the motion of his fingers faster, while pumping long, careful fingers into Aki’s inner channel.

The blond man seems to be more than ready. A timely thrusting motion pared with the scissoring of he’s fingers, and Aki’s voice took on a rare howl, aroused and threatening tone as he came violently. While the boy was still under the after shocked of his orgasm Asami lined up his thick member into the boys tight hole. Cupping his hands beneath Aki’s ass, Asami prepared himself for what was to come. Inch by inch he slides himself until he’s all the way to the hilt. Asami allowed the younger man to adjust to his length and size.

“I’m...ready, you can move now” the boy whispers to him his eyes sparkles with need and desire. “Are you sure, I might tear you if I move so soon, and you’re so tight.”

“Yeah, it’s been... a while, but... I’m sure. I want to see you while you’re fucking me Asami. Kiss me” as the blond man reach out cupping his face, and pull him forward for another kiss.

He grinned down the boy hips. The sight of Aki’s hazel brown eyes shimmering with lust, the sight of his lips swollen and rouged spurred him on. Aki had a death grip on the bedspread after a few thrusts. He’s leg has an even tighter grip on Asami’s hips.

“Yes! Fuck Asami, harder! ...Fuck me...Asami.”

He was losing his control. He hissed as Aki’s body clenched around his cock, and used his hips to drive their pace faster and faster. They’re both intent and enraptured. Aki gasped at the exact moment that his control collapsed, and they came together.

He woke up the next day and found out that he is now alone in messy bed. There’s no sign anywhere for he’s companion last night, or the time the younger man left. He knew that this would happen, but he was a little disappointed at the fact, something so right, felt so wrong. He’d taken a quick shower and only then he noticed a note on the bedside table.

_“I had a good time and the most intense orgasm, maybe I’ll see you around again or maybe not, hard to say at the moment”_

_Aki_

The note was cut short, but it gave Asami a little hope. Just a little. There were no promises, no phone number, no addresses, or company to sort out, although deep inside he was really hoping for something that could connect him to the younger man. He can only hope.


	2. Chapter 2

Weeks passed and his awkward longing for Aki was unreal. He didn’t even know his real name and he promised he would not ask. He had no idea why he felt so strongly about him. He had dated much glamorous people in the past, but there was something about the younger man that pulls him in. Captivating him in mysterious ways he can’t explain. Asami briskly walk to his bathroom for a much needed shower after work dropping a piece of clothing on the floor as he goes.

Multiple jets of hot water poured into his body that fogged the tile walls of his bathroom. The image of Aki’s open plump lips lingered at the back of his mind as he slides his soapy hands onto his skin. Tracing his muscles down. He can’t help but feel his erection increase quickly with needs. Thinking of that person turn each day into heaven and hell for him just like this. Taking care of his primal urges by his own hands. That never happened before in his life.

Asami groaned with unmistakable delight as he strokes himself up and down, tightening the grip on the length of his cock. He paid special attention to the tip imaging a blond mop of hair was there, and imitating how a certain mouth pleasured him like he was fixated by it. His legs were starting to give up as heat concentrated at the center of his thighs. He braced himself and firmly planted his footing on the warm floor as he increased the speed of his strokes. His body was on flame racing higher and higher in tandem with the pulsing throb of his cock and pulse. Twisting his hand, he pumped faster until he reach the peak and shot a pulsating stream of cum on his hands. His whimper of release echoed around the bathroom. Gasping for air after his heated desire passed, he finishes showering, and step out of the stall. Pulling a thick towel from the stylish cabinet. He strides into his bedroom while vigorously rubbing the moisture from his hair and body.

He found himself going back to that bar more often than he wanted to hoping to catch a glimpse of the boy. The bar keeper was right about that fact again; as he remember he’s words before.

“Welcome Back Asami, long day at work huh”

He just nodded casually and the feeling of anticipation was palpable. “The usual master” as he sat at the same corner his been occupying since he starts coming here. No one bothered to ask him about anything after he left with the boy that night. Another reason he came back here because the people around are not nosy.

He is much more familiar with many faces by now, as they come and go. Most of them are just enjoying the environment, but occasionally he would catch some people asking for the blond man whereabouts just like now.

“Master, hasn’t Aki come around yet?”

“It’s been about six weeks; I guess he’s really busy”

“You know that boy; if ever he’s free this will be one of the places he would go to recuperate and so far, it has been a while since his last visit”

“He’s just pre-occupied with his job and he would come around soon”

The bar keeper explained to the groups of people around the bar. He wanted to know more, but he would not break any promises he made himself to the blond man. He sat quietly at the corner as days come and go, skipping only when he has meetings, or a need to get up early the next day. The same scenario happened for another two weeks, until he finally catches a break.

It was Friday late night and he was about to go home after his new project was launched successfully. His secretary was correct about the proposal submitted by a freelance Marketing analyst and designer. The product was well received by the masses and is moving in the right direction. It may have taken a little longer than he originally planned, but it was a wise move. He found himself walking the same street where the small establishment was tucked in.

He approaches the bar and sat at the same corner. The place was busier than normal, mostly because it’s the last day before the weekend. When the elderly bar keeper had the chance to breathe a little, he leaned over to him and whispered.

“Asami-san, he is resting in the back room. He told me not to let anyone know, except for you. He looked exhausted, so just go around the hall to your left when you’re done, and take the door on the far end”

Asami’s heart skipped a beat once he heard the news. He’s been waiting for this for two months, and he can’t wait to see the mysterious boy again. His breathing faltered after opening the door. He moves closer in silence and closed the door behind him. Aki was sleeping on the small hard sofa curled up like a child. He sat next to him, careful not to wake him up. The young blond was worn out and it shows on his beautiful face.

He lost a little bit of weight and is now sporting light dark circles around his eyes. He wanted to touch and caress the boy’s face, but his hands stopped mid air hesitantly. He didn’t want to step out of their set boundaries and lose the boy’s trust in return. He just admired the small figure that continued to sleep. Aki must have sensed his presence and opens his eyes after fifteen minutes.

“Oh it’s you, how long have you been looking at me?” the sleepy boy asks with tired smile on his face while blushing at the same time.

“Long enough to admire you”

“You could have just woke me up, anyway, I just drop by to pay my tab with master, but he mentioned you’re frequent visits here lately since then. He also told me that you might come around tonight, so I decided to wait a little to talk to you”

“I hope you’re not stalking me Asami” as Aki stretched and yawned lazily.

“No, but I was hoping to see you again to check and see if you’re okay.

“...Correction, I was waiting to see you again”

“I made it clear from the start that I don’t want any complications, but master told me you never once ask about me, so I guess I’m okay with that”

“Aki, would you like to continue talking somewhere else?”

“I really don’t have the energy to play with you tonight. I will crash anytime”

“I think you need a better bed than that” he cut off the younger man and pointed at the hard sofa. Promise I won’t do anything to you”

“I didn’t make any plans today, so I don’t have any hotel reservations”

“If, you’re okay with it my home is just about ten minutes from here” he offered.

“You know Asami; you’re so weird for inviting someone you hardly know. What if I’m one of that whacko serial killer? Man what am I saying I can barely walk much more threaten you, so if you don’t mind me crashing at your place unless you’re wife or lover is around I’m okay with it” Aki agreed yawning again.

“There’s no one, I live alone” as he stands up and offered his stretch hand to the blond boy. Aki did the unexpected. He stretches both his hand up towards him.  

“Is that so, then carry me up please. I don't want to walk “and he was more than happy to comply.

He cradles the boy and tucked him inside the passenger seat of his BMW that was parked at the curb. The younger man was much lighter than before and was so soft to his touch. The boy was dozing on and off during the car ride. He parked his car on the underground garage of his penthouse and shakes the other lightly.

“We are here Aki” The young blond eyes fluttered a little, but not getting up from his seat. The older man whipped the stray hair back from his face, revealing the tired lines of his expression.

“Shall I carry you again?” as the other nods in approval, Asami gently unbuckle the seatbelt and lifted him without much effort.

“When was the last time you slept?” he asks while walking the hallway after they exited the elevator.

“I take naps here and there, whenever I get the chance, but not real long sleep, so don’t panic if I don’t wake up for two days straight alright” Aki murmured while nestling at his neck.

Asami felt a sense of satisfaction with Aki’s action. He didn’t mind waiting for two months if this is his reward, although the younger man’s hot breath is raising the level of his body’s temperature, it’s better than not seeing him at all.

“Do you want to shower first before you sleep Aki?” He murmured back to his precious cargo gently brushing a kiss at Aki’s neck at the same time.

“Just sleep please I’m dog-tired, and I had taken one before I went to the bar” His response was almost whisper while his body relaxed and became limb.

Asami reluctantly carried the younger man inside the guest room, when in reality all he wanted to do was to take the boy in his own room. He carefully placed Aki on top of the majestic bed and covered him with silky red blanket up to his chest. He brushed his hand swiping the strands of hair away from the younger man’s face. A smile tipped Aki’s lips as he felt his sleepy response to the older man’s touch, heard a small moan scape his own lips.

He didn’t want to leave the room but he knew how tired the boy was, and with a fleeting caring look in his eyes, he turned off the lights and closes the door as gently as he could.

Asami can’t sleep at all despite his own tired self. How he longed to see him again after all this time, and now the young man was just next door to his room merely inches away from him. It was harder to tolerate considering the distance that separated them was just that much. He raises his hand in front of him. He can still feel the warmth from it. He was flushed in heated need and realized that this will be a long night for him.

He wonders what kind of job the young blond was doing to push him that hard and to have skipped sleep for it. He hopes to find out more about the boy, if Aki ever let him in to his private life. All he could do at the moment was to be patient. He has to accept the fact that the blond man is what he wanted more than anyone, and he agreed to it the moment he slept with Aki. It was his own fault for lowering his guard down and liking someone that might not like him in return.

He admitted becoming hopeless to himself. He was frequently thinking of the boy every minute and every second of the day, especially at home when he’s alone. It was okay at work since he was always pre-occupied by all the things he needed to do. He was glad he owned the company even if he spaces out on occasion, no one would dare say anything.


	3. Chapter 3

The clock strikes 6:00pm the next day by the time Aki opened his eyes. He didn’t recognize the room at first, but after a brief recollection of the bar and then Asami, he was sure the older man had taken care of him. He felt energized again after two months of hard work and not enough sleep. While he was pondering on the matter, it slowly began to make no sense to him, but then again the deadline is coming and he had to push much harder before the allotted time.

With a sudden jerking movement he made sure his clothing are intact, specially his shirt. He sighs in relief after finding he was still fully clothe from his pants to his upper torso. He dreaded at the thoughts of someone seeing those old scars on his back. One of the many reasons he never slept with anyone till morning. He would always sneaked out as soon as he got a chance.

“Where...is that guy anyway”

He slowly pushes himself up from the comfortable mattress. Sliding tentatively and shaking his head wildly, he regained a bit of sense and blinked several times in rapid succession while massaging his sleep-heavy eyelids with his fingers. His feet found its way to the kitchen after wondering around the huge penthouse.

Mainly because of the irresistible aroma coming from it and the smell of freshly brewed coffee. What he didn’t expect was the sight of shirtless Asami manning the kitchen. It was adorable he thought as he leaned on the kitchen door drinking at the sight in front of him.

Asami was sipping coffee while looking over the boiling pot with a frown. What’s in that pot to make him frown like that? The thought made him smile alone. Asami had a dashing appearance even in his pajama bottom, but then again he was good-looking to begin with due to his double eyelids and facial features, and those amazing golden eyes. He did paid attention to those details that night at the hotel.

“Good morning gorgeous” he broke the man’s concentration on the pot. He noticed Asami’s body went stiff for a moment, then gradually relax, like some kid caught red handed by their parents.

“You mean good evening” I was going to wake you up soon if you hadn’t. You’ve been out like a light for sixteen hours straight, and if you hadn’t warned me ahead of time. I would have called the doctor on you”

“I’m sorry. I hope my presence here didn’t stop you from going to your work”

The older man didn’t say anything for a while and only nurse his coffee at hand. He wanted to across the distance that separated them and touch the object of his affection, but he can’t.

“You look well rested”

“I hope you’re hungry, since dinner is almost done” Asami briefly glanced at him, then at the direction of the dinner table that was loaded with gourmet food situated at the corner of the room, overlooking a great view thru the massive window. Aki was impressed, the array of food made him famished, but most of all, it was the person that prepared them that he wanted to take a bite at.

_When was the last time he actually ate good food?_

_If this kind of treatment goes on, will he be okay with it?_

_Can he allow another person inside his heart?_

_Will he get hurt again in the end?_

“You looked troubled, you don’t like it? We can order take out if you like?” the older man had a troubled face himself.

“Oh, sorry, I was trying to remember when was the last time I actually ate real food”

“Is that really all you’re thinking right now?”

_His guesses are almost like he reads my mind, as if he knew I was worried just now. How does he know?_

“Yeah, I didn’t know you can cook a spread like this, your partner will be in for a treat” as he sat down without looking at Asami’s face. His hands reached out, took one bite of a small morsel of food and his eyes suddenly widen.

“This is so good, you’re amazing!!” Aki was sloppily eating while Asami watched him smiling at how he stuffs his face like a kid.

Asami sat in front of him still smiling. He took another pair of chopsticks that was laid down on his side.

“Itadakemasu”

Aki was looking around for any signs of another person that may be living with the older man, and before he realized it the question came out of his mouth.

“I’ve been wondering Asami, how come you don’t have a lover right now?”

“Umm...Sorry, you don’t have to answer that, I remember no personal questions right? I just blurted out without thinking”

Asami’s chopsticks stopped moving. He may not have another chance to say what he feels, and besides Aki asked the question first, so the line is not cross right?

“It’s alright, you don’t have to worry about it ... The truth is . . . There is someone I like . . . I don’t think I’ll get anything out of it though, it will be fruitless even if I wanted to say it”

He softly muttered again while looking down at his plate. “But, it’s one sided on my part, and there’s no reason confessing it now.” The older man quietly ate his dinner after that, with no sign of saying more than it should be.

_Oh man, did he ask a touchy topic just now?_

Aki swallowed hard, realizing he had said too much. He knew exactly how that felt from his experienced, but still, he should have been more considerate to the other party. He couldn’t think of a way to break through the silence, and with only the sound of them eating could be heard inside the room. He was somewhat relieved when he’s cell phone vibrates inside his pocket.

“Shoot, I forgot I was supposed to go some...where...”

Asami understood what he was trying to say. The older man got up carrying his plate to the sink. Aki felt bad, after all the man did for him, he can’t just leave like an ungrateful brat. How does he always manage to severe every perfect moment like this with something stupid like talking without thinking first?

“Go on, you should go it's probably important,” Asami stated while washing the dishes.

The older man’s kindness and understanding was immeasurable, but it’s also deadly to Aki. In the space of forty seconds he just stared at his phone with confused loathing. But Asami was right, this other project was re-scheduled multiple times already, and he can’t bail out again. He swiped out the phone and let out a deep breath before picking up the line. The conversation was short and he was not sure what to say to his kind host afterwards.

“Thank you for the food, it was really delicious” as he left Asami in the kitchen. He gathered his belongings from the guest room. He can’t shake the feeling of regret. He wasn’t even awake when he was here. He caught a glimpse of the luxurious place while looking for the older man, but why does he feel this way?

Asami walked him out until he reached the threshold, but when he reaches the front door, he hesitates. When he looked back to where Asami was his heart clenched. He has that concerned look and something else. Sadness.

_Don’t make such a face like you’re about to cry Asami... You’re making this harder than it is to me..._

If the older man has something to say, he should say it right here and now.

“Asami”

“Yeah” 

“C...can I come back here some time?”

“I would love that very much”

Asami’s response to him was always welcoming and heartwarming. He never does anything to scare him off, or drive him away. Why was the man alone without a lover? He’s perfect, if only he can gather the courage to take that dive again. Asami gave him a feeling of calmness being wrapped in a soft blanket. The man deserves something at least and he would provide that until the other finds a lover.

Aki decided to splurge a little bit while he had the chance. Dropping his bag on the floor, he strides towards Asami in one swift move, as he yanks the older man forward for a kiss.


	4. Chapter 4

Their passionate kiss last longer until they’re both desperate for air, neither of them are willing to let go of the other even for a second. In a low husky voice Aki whispered seductively into the others neck. 

“I can spare a quickie and I want you badly”

Asami didn’t waste any time lifting Aki up, and the younger man wrapped his slender legs around Asami’s waist with the same pace. The older man captured his lips and sealed it with slick tongue roaming inside his mouth like a hungry snake, and his lips and teeth nibbled at him when he outstretched his tongue. His long, elegant fingers explore Aki’s body in torturous slow movement, and he lost himself in the swell of desire that overtook him.

“Does it feel good?”

He can only nod his head frantically begging in response to that one obscene question. Asami’s husky voice intensified the heat inside his burning body, whenever the older man whispers in his sensitive ear lobe, sparking a current that burned in a wanton scorch of lust from head to toe.

“Yes, it does...more ...please...ha...ha!” 

Aki pleaded, his voice fading to the faintest whisper, and Asami, knowing what it was he asked for, slowly rolled his tongue in reply to his. Thinking only of his warmth and satisfaction.

“Ah!”

The older man movements were gentle but precise. An overwhelming burst of pleasure bending through him, and he let out a lovely shattered cry concentrated on whispered words, as hands traveled sensually over his body.

“Nngh... Ah, ah—!”

He can feel the touch all over him, as his skin reacts. His hands clenched as Asami’s palm brushed against his thighs sensitive spot, followed by a ghostly wet lick on his chest had him arching closer for more. His entrance quivered with involuntary constrictions, miserably awaiting the other man’s heated fingers and cock to violate him. This wasn’t the quickie he had planned, but he’ll be damned before stopping the ministrations on his glorious body.

“Oh, yes—there, ah, yes...!”

The owner of the heated hand had noticed how every hair on his body was raised, as he continued to stroke him, while his tongue play skillfully with his nipples. Asami lowered his lips to his abdomen with sucking motion on every fleshy part while he travelled lower to his cock. 

Soon, the older man found his erection was swollen to an angry red and made a toy out of it inside his mouth. His tongue swabbed back and forth repeatedly. The scissoring motion in his ass itself is driving him insane, and he’s on the verge of exploding ecstasy. Sweats beaded on his forehead every time a heated liquid swipe was done to him in a very torturous ways.

“That’s enough...please...now.”

He wanted to come together with Asami, so Akihito held his breath as long as he can, while the older man is tormenting him with pleasure he never felt before. Asami’s soft tongue began to stroke circles over the crown of his swollen cock again. He was ready to burst anytime.

“Ah—ah...Asami, no, I can’t...need...you...now...please!”

Asami entered him ever slowly complying with his plea. It was shallow at first, then the man wouldn’t move halfway inside. Looking down for any signs of discomfort on his face, he knew his partner was being considerate of him, and waiting for his permission. The older man is holding back the urge to tunnel inside him, deeper and faster like that one night in the hotel, but tonight the other was only focusing on his every movement, and his pleasure alone.

He replies by his body, as he wrapped his slim, quivering legs about Asami’s waist. Drawing in a breath and lifted his hips. He places a hand around the older man’s jutting erection, and moved to guide it deeper inside him. His lips could only spill sweet, gasping cries, one after another, as the rigid cock stretched the ring wider of his pliant muscle and stirred bigger inside him.

“Please Aki, you’re still clinging tight to my length, I’ll rip you apart if we don’t take it slow” 

“I...don’t care Asami please...now Dammit!”

Aki’s breath nearly caught in his throat: one thrust filled him with Asami’s long, thick cock all the way in, sending electric pulse to his nerves. He felt himself hurtling to climax, but then the man stopped, pulling slowly out of him, before easing himself in again repeatedly. Asami’s hesitation lasted only as long as his mind was in control.

“Yes...deeper, Asami...!”

“Nngh... ah, ah”

Asami then began to snap his hips in short, strong, quick, rocking movements that jostled Aki against the hard floor, as if sensing the young blond impending climax. The older man deepened the rhythm of his hips.

He let out a scream, and dug his short nails into the back of the man pulsating above him. His opening, sucking hungrily on the stimulation, had become little more than a vessel to chase the hot, wet length that pumped in and out of him. He reeled with terror, as if he were falling on the brink of darkness, and scrabbled at Asami’s sweaty skin.

“I...I’m coming...Asami!”

Asami’s powerful arms held tightly at his waist, hands stroked his sweat and damp back into a tight embrace, and just as something like relief unfolded within him, his body shook against Asami’s and reached its dramatic climax.

“Ah—!”

Asami picked up the pace even faster, and jerked his own hips shakily to his long climax, following the spurting white wetness that filled his narrow entrance. He felt warm liquid began to collect steadily inside him before they both collapsed panting heavily in the mixture of sweat, sex and saliva.

The older man began to move on top of him, relieving him of he’s heavy frame. Asami lowered his lips to his shoulder blade and kiss him softly there.

“Sorry” Asami whispered 

“What for?”

“Not taking you to bed instead of these hard floor, I’m sure by now your back is hurting with floor burns”

“Well, it did. The burns will start to show, but you did hold back, so it’s okay, beside I was the one being demanding and impatient, so were even” 

He smiles to Asami. He was glad the hallway was dark enough to hide his back. He’s becoming careless lately. Running his hands on Asami’s back, Aki’s fingers caressed the older man’s butt. 

“It’s all right, though. You have much more important talents, which I like.” 

Speechless, Asami turned and gazed into Aki’s hazel brown eyes and growled back. 

“Really?”

Leaning his head back upon Asami’s shoulder, Aki wiggled his hips against the prodding erection, rising steadily again for him.

“I would love to have a second round with you, but I’m running out of time” His bangs were long enough to cloak his wicked glance.

“Oh, and I’ll need a shower before I leave, so I’ll swing by my place first” 

“Do you think I’m too forward?”  When Asami just stares at him. Aki furrowed his brows waiting for reply. 

“You are a bold little thing, impatient, and had a knack for being frank”

“I do, don’t I” He casually admitted.

The older man kisses his temple “So? Are you sore? Are you going to be okay?”

“If you want I can drive you home?” 

It took him a few seconds to register what Asami had just said. He didn’t want to raise the others hope more than the obvious fact. He’s not ready to take this further than occasional sex, and besides he’s life is already complicated as it is.

“Nah, I’ll be fine, besides you’ve taken care of me enough and I don’t want to impose on you further than I already have”

“May I please have a towel to clean myself?” 

“Sure, wait here a little bit and I’ll be right back”

Akihito took advantage of the moment and slips his t-shirt back on while he’s alone. He needed to make sure next time the lights are off, or it’s dark.


	5. Chapter 5

Asami circled the date on his calendar. He flipped the pages afterwards, three whole tormenting months and still counting. Was his phantom lover possibly determined to continue the separation out of fear or something else? Maybe he was the only one thinking that way about the whole situation between them.

The conference was taking longer than anticipated; that he didn’t even noticed it was over, until Kirishima slammed the bundle of documents in front of him creating a loud thud.

“If I didn’t know any better I would have guessed, you’re spacing out while the meeting was in progress”

“What has gotten into you lately anyway?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about Kirishima; I’m always focused when it comes with these meetings”

“Oh, bullshit Ryuichi. I’ve known you half of our lives and that sloppy excuse doesn’t fly on me anymore”

“Even Minami is always asking for you, I doubt you even tried to call her lately, which is un-usual considering you two are glued to each other at the hips’

“Just let her know that I’m really busy and I will visit her as soon as I can will you”

“Oh, no! No way”

“You tell her yourself Ryuichi, the last thing I want is to be in the middle of the firing squad just like the last time, so you do it, she’s your sister you know”

“...And she’s your wife Ki” Asami declared while pinching the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes for an impending headache.

Kirishima is his personal secretary, and his long time friend. Since childhood, the other man has acted like a mother hen to him and his sister keeping them both in line and less trouble. That time when Asami’s parents passed away from plane crash. Kirishima stood up as their moral support. His friend has always been business minded, and very capable.

When he was in the process of rebuilding his parents business after he took over, Kirishima was silently guiding him in the shadow. Now that everything is going well, Sion Incorporation requires more attention from him, and his brother in law is well aware of that.

One of the reasons why he’s been avoiding his sister is due to her consistently nagging him about his personal affair such as his love life. There’s no telling what she’s going to say this time, maybe she will say, that he’s more worn out than the tire of his car, and why was he not dating anyone.

“How are my cute nieces and nephew?”

Kirishima’s demeanor lights up like a light bulb at the mention of his pride and joy.

“Those rascal are growing like mushroom everyday and Minami’s hands are full”

The proud father of twin’s and a four years old baby boy smiles genuinely. Asami used this as kryptonite whenever Kirishima is in a nagging mood, like today.

Kirishima cocked his head and looked at his friend and brother in-law.

“Man, don’t even try to play that shit. You know I was just trying to get you to come to our house and visit them, before your sister decided to show up here again, and believe me, we both know how that will go, if ever she does”

“Okay, Kirishima seriously, I get it, you’re forgetting I grew up with that woman and she can be a pain if she wanted to”

“Oh, I’d say it was damn serious. The security team almost drags her out of this building since they don’t know were both related to her, and don’t forget she was eight months pregnant back then”

“I could have sworn, the whole building was gossiping about her being a lunatic trying to get you for child support”

Asami burst out in laughter holding his stomach. “Yeah, that was hilarious, I had to treat her shopping for a week, and she made me eat all the food you don’t like as a penalty”

“Now you think that was funny, she practically slaved me for a month and kicked me out of our bedroom, I had to sleep in my son’s room you know”

Still smiling, Asami agreed to have dinner at Kirishima’s house tonight.

“Just make sure you’re on time okay, at least earlier before my kids fall asleep at the dining table waiting for you again. Minami will probably buy a restaurant just to feed you”

“Anyway, here are the reports for the last product we launch four months ago. The profits skyrocketed like we all predicted. The only problem is competition; since other companies are coming up with the same product line everywhere”

“We need to follow up with a new product line this time to get ahead of the game. The marketing specialist suggested for unisex jewelry line that is becoming popular these days”

“Ensuring top quality product is what keeps us on top of the competition out there”

“The proposals should be included in one of those folders; however the person that made all that happen the last time is not available momentarily. Our elusive creator predicted this would happen somewhere along the road, so he made the samples ahead of time for us to look at”

Asami’s long slender fingers, flips thru pages of samples and proposals, he was impressed with the quality of work provided. The designs, graphs, sample photos and calculations of timeframe for completion are thorough. As if the other person was trying to read his mind and the questions he can come up with.

“This person is good, but the market can’t wait for him. We have to strike now while the iron is still hot, so why don’t we just hire another one and accept more proposals?” he asked Kirishima.

“I did look up some other options, but none can compare to him. He’s a well sought out candidate, who gives results not just promises in a heartbeat. Those old designers that we used in the past was bought out by our competitor companies, so to be hones, I don’t trust them”

“Besides, from what I’ve heard so far, this person handles everything from draft to designs. He’s also talented when it comes to photos and graphics. Those are all his personal work. No assistance from anyone, so we can rest assure copies or details are not leak out to another company”

“Everything is original and unique to the maker, multi-tasking is his specialty, so he only accepts projects that caught his eyes and inspired him one at a time. He devotes all his energy and time to it until it’s completed and the product is produced”

“He’s very competitive, billboards, commercial, handout prints and how to market it better. He never accepts any project, until the product is launch so any troubleshooting is personally adjusted too. He’s a freelance and has other works aside from designs”

“The one you’re holding are gemstones called citrine gemstones. Citrine is the most common yellow to gold gem, but yellow sapphire is highly sought after too. There are also good choices in harder gems such as beryl and chrysoberl. Yellow tourmaline from Malawi is very rare as well”

“I guess you could say our company was in luck to be given the privileged of the designs after a hard bargain and negotiations.”

“Okay Kirishima, I think you’ve convinced me enough, so when is this person coming back and where is he anyway?”

“Well, if you’re interested with the proposal, his portfolio is right here” as Kirishima handed the folder from the bottom stacks of documents.

Asami opened the profile folder.

Name: Takaba Akihito

Age: 23

The companies that hired him were all well known in the marketing industry, but only handful, which proves what Kirishima just mentioned moments ago. He’s well known for his quality of work and all he’s project are sold out anywhere in Japan and around the globe. His not tied up to any company and is currently working as freelance.

“The last I heard, he’s been gone for couple months and who knows where”

“Our only contact is Masamune Publishing and Marketing Services, which he sometimes used as home base”

“The rest is unknown”

“Don’t you think he’s really young to be this accomplished Kirishima?”

“And you could at least include his personal photo with this profile. I just can’t picture him in my head like this”

“Well, true, but he’s also aloof and hard to locate. Believe me I tried every possible avenue to get more information. He dislike he’s picture taken, so just be glad we even had this profile with us”

“You know Kirishima, you sounded confident like you’re selling this person as a product” Asami can’t help, but tease his secretary slash brother in law who pushes his spectacles up in place.

“Now, I really want to meet him. It’s very rare for you to commend someone’s work, so I expect top performance and results with this”

 

 

 

        _________________________________________________________________________________________________

“I still don’t get it. Twelve hours and eighteen minutes seating in the plane for this. We could have just recreated the scenery as realistically as this without leaving the country. What were you thinking?”

“What kind of question is that? Do you even have to ask?”

“It’s simple, Authencity. I take pride with everything I create, so I can indulge a little when it comes to it, unlike you my friend-“

“Okay, forget I even asked and be quiet, Masa I’m trying to concentrate here. I didn’t say anything when you dragged me here to get this clothing line together for you and your magazine. Normally, when you asked someone for help you don’t just whisked them away to another country without notice”

“Save the whining for later Akihito,” Masa interrupted. “We’re almost done here, anyway I’ll treat you to anything you like, or you’d rather have a hot piece of hunk pounding you on the bed. In that case, you’re in the right place baby...London is crawling with that type of hot meats if you know what I mean.”

“While I appreciate your humble offer Masa, I would rather go back home to Japan”

“Oh, is that so, and why is that hmm? Forgive me precious but your request is denied”

“You bailed out on me multiple times and I intend to use you as much as I can to my heart’s content” Masa waves his hands in the air.

“Why do I even bother” Akihito replied while fumbling a pin thru a flirty ruffles of the models. “Yes, your highness, your wish is my command”

“Funny, ha ha ha” Masa retorted

Akihito tentatively sucked mouthful of air through his teeth. While he loved bickering with Masa, the man is really important to him and he owes this person his very life. What he accomplished now would have been impossible, if Masa and the elderly barkeeper were not around to help him that time.

Masa’s appearance will make any models run for their money. He’s tall with lean built, an epitome of the word gorgeous. They’ve known each other for seven years. He was the one that introduced him in the glamorous world of fashion and marketing; giving him the opportunity to be part of the growing business world.

“Masa will you stop strangling the model with that tie that looks hideous on him. You really should learn how to choose this kind of stuff. I mean you’re the organizer of this magazine clothing line and runway is your turf, but you don’t have any ounce of taste when it comes to clothes aside from the one in your back”

“Sometimes it puzzles me, how you can dressed yourself perfectly in the morning, but can’t do the same with your models”

“That’s why I love my fashion stylish and photographer, and I’m willing to wait for him to be free on this occasions, besides I haven’t seen you for two months prior to this, and I was worried about you”

“I heard you spent a lot of time in Malawi?”

“Yeah I was looking for rare gemstones there”

“New project?”

“You could say that”

“I also heard from master you’ve been seeing someone frequently”

Akihito’s hands stopped working and briefly closed his eyes. “Twice, not often”

“And?” Masa’s tone was sharp, but he could tell it was laced with worries. He recognized it all too well.

“And that’s the end of it, so please just drop it Masa” resuming his hand from working on the models. Damn, his hands were starting to shake. He didn’t want to think about that certain topic, but he is also aware that Masa is well informed by master when it comes to him.

“Shit” he murmured.

Masa grabbed Akihito’s hands. “You’re shaking?”

“It’s nothing, really”

“Are you having an anxiety attack? You are, aren’t you?”...

“I said it’s nothing Masa please”

“Like hell it’s nothing” he motions his hands clearing the room. “Thank you for you’re hard works everyone. We will resume the shoot tomorrow”

Akihito glanced over his shoulder. “You don’t have to delay our work for this”

“You’re more important than the photo shoot, and don’t tell me how to run my own company. When was the last time this happens?”

“Almost nine months now”...Well, it’s not as bad as before, but sometimes I still craved for it” Akihito replied to Masa.

“Is it because of what I asked? If it was, then I’m sorry for reminding you, it’s just that-“”

“No, it’s not your fault. You don’t have to apologize for anything” Masa is concern and he knew that.

“I’m glad. I told you before it can be done. You can do it. Just keep on trying and don’t give up on me now. It pained me to see you like this”

Of course Masa was right, but he'd missed the point. Anxiety attack he could handle and deal with; what he couldn't handle was that he always managed to keep everyone around him over the edge and he hated that part the most. “I don’t need anybody else except for you, master, Kai and her”

“I’m always here if you need me, so keep on doing your best alright”

“I know” He watched with a frustrated longing for the day that he could finally be freed of his tormented past and condition. With a sigh, he gazed out the window at the grand view of Eiffel tower standing tall and proud.

“Actually Akihito...if we do it here you have at least a few days to recover before we go back to Japan, just to keep the edge off your skin. Those signs are hard for me to ignore, and I don’t want to wait until it gets worst”

“If something is bothering you that’s triggering this, I need to know, and make sure you rest well before then okay”

“All right, but no marks this time please” Akihito agreed, it’s not like he has a choice. “And don’t forget the stuff for her”

“Worry about yourself first before anybody else, but if its for her. I already have those covered”

“Thank you Masa. I owe you again”

“Its nothing. I’ll do anything for you and you know that”...The other left him still standing there staring at his shaking hand. Maybe he should take care of this now than later.


	6. Chapter 6

Akihito sighs grimly. The air was humid and fertile with aroma coming from the first floor of his condo.

_What the hell was going on down there?_

It has been four days since they got back from London, and four days that he shut himself from the outside world.

"Dammit, all I wanted was a few days of privacy, was that too much to ask?" He talked to himself as he was descending to the lower part of his home.

Masa rolling his eyes, while holding a bowl of salad, greeted him. "Only you could make a word concern sound very offensive, Akihito” They studied each other attentively, their gazes locked in challenge.

“I didn’t have a choice but to come over, since you never picked up any calls from me or her”

“Shit! I forgot about her. I was immersed with work, but I called her though”

“Yes you did, but that was three days ago Akihito. Do you know how worried I was?”

“Rena, what are you doing here?”

“I heard from Masa and I just have to see you, and make sure you’re okay”

Akihito averted his eyes away from her, As if he could forget. He still has the colorful fading bruises on his wrist. What a lovely reminder it was.

Rena closed in on him, rubbed both wrist, wincing as her fingers reached the still tender spots. She continued to stare; until he caught her eyes glistened with sudden tears surveying both arms.

“Oh God, Aki, it frustrates me the most that I can’t do shit for you every time you have these episodes”

“I really want to kill those bastards” as warm teardrops fell down his skin, Rena was crying while clutching tightly on his hands. She curled one of her shaking hand into a fist, as she tried so hard controlling her anger. “Why the fuck it has to be you Aki?”

“Rena, please don’t cry. I’m okay Masa was there, so it’s fine” Akihito was trying to re-assure her with his words.

“Besides, it’s been a while since the last time so it’s not that bad okay”

“What about when you’re alone Aki?” 

“Every time I wake up in the morning all I can think about is you, do you know that?”

The inevitable silence fell between them, as she quietly sobs in despair. “Come on Rena, I barely see you and I don’t want to ruin everything like this”

She calmed down after a few more minutes. He decided to change the topic “How is the old man by the way?”

Her tone turned icy. “Why do you even bother to ask? I don’t give a rat about that asshole. He was the reason you’re like this. I hated him with passion”

“I mean, who would kick his only son out of the house just because you like men, and what pissed me off the most was you’re just a kid back then for him to do that”

“I know Rena, but still he’s my father. I can’t change that fact no matter what I do. I can’t help but wonder if he’s okay. I’m sure mother would want me to do the same if she’s still alive”

“...And he’s my uncle Akihito, don’t forget that fact too, but I hate his guts the most”

He was struck mute. Once again he managed to make things worse. It wasn’t easy talking about his past, but he couldn’t think at all at times like this, especially with his only cousin crying endlessly for his sake. Regardless of his father’s failure as a dad, he could hardly turn his back on him for good. Once in a while, he would like to know if his old man was still breathing and in good health.

“Can we just stop talking about these things? It’s all in the past now and I’m recovering slowly. I know someday I can find a way to incorporate the past with my future, beside you and Masa are here with me right?”

His fingers moved in a slow upward glide, comforting her. “Besides you don’t want to miss my gifts for you from London” And he reached out to hug her.

She inhaled sharply; the framework of her shoulders was still tense in his hands. "As if I would let you bribe me," she said unsteadily.

Akihito smiles at Rena’s remark. “Of course I got you something, how can I forget my favorite girl” He had to admit he was fortunate to have all these people by his side, glancing where Masa was standing just watching them.

“Look, Masa even has your favorite wine. He sensed her indecision, but her face light up nonetheless, and he was glad she did. He couldn’t handle more of it. It was suffocating.

Masa met Rena’s bright wide eyes. She liked to have a little drink with her food and he made sure to spoil her whenever they see each other.

“Masa was here cooking while I was upstairs. I didn’t even know he was here until now”

The table was ready. There were salads, special miso, stuffed baked potatoes, and a bottle of red wine. Two sets of sashimi platter and steak for Rena.

“You can check the clothes, bags, accessories and shoes we got from London for you, so hurry up and start your food”

“Fine, but you owe me big time for making me cry, you dork” She commented as Akihito guided her forward.

“I heard from Masa you’re planning a new project?” She casually asked breaking the silence at the dining table.

“Uh huh. I’m not sure yet if I should to take the offer”

“Hmm, indecisive perhaps?”

“You can say that”

“What is it about?”

“Designs and creation of Unisex jewelry”

“Sounds interesting”

“I don’t really know”

“You should take it. They sent me an email at the office since they don’t know how to reach you. The details and timeframe are reasonable, but of course its you who needed to make the final decision”

“I forward the email to you before coming here. I thought you already saw it by now, but I guess I was wrong. What were you working on lately anyway?”

“Funny you asked Masa, since a certain someone dragged me to London for a magazine shoot, and the same pictures has to be re-touch for a certain magazine, so take a wild guess”

“Oh, is that so”

"Great isn’t he?" Akihito said sarcastically, and Rena chuckled.

“Anyway, I’ll check it later. I was planning on visiting master to deliver the wines we got for him, but –“

“I’ll do it” Masa volunteered. “It’s been a while since I went there, so I don’t mind delivering it for you, plus I don’t want to delay your work”

“You mean your work. You want the magazine out by next week right?”

“That too, anyway I should get going. What about you Rena?”

“Do you mind dropping me?”

“Not at all, whenever you’re ready, we can go”

 

After all was said and done his home is quite again. Akihito had gone back up to check his email. Sion Incorporation confirmed the acceptance of his proposal. He can finally create the product inspired by someone’s golden eyes he secretly craved. The bitter awareness of what he could never have. The man’s silhouette is even chasing him in his dreams at night, but it’s probably for the best not to see him again. He thought wrapping his arms around himself.

Well probably. It’s hard to stick to any concrete plan if every fiber of your being is screaming for that person, like an itch you can’t scratch regardless how hard you tried. He lazily replied to the email and had asked for two weeks extension at the same time, of course he explained as to why the extension was needed.

Meanwhile, Masa had entered the back door carrying a case of imported wine from London, after dropping Rena home. The place hasn’t change much. A wry grin crossed his lips. He should find the person he wanted to talk to. He has a lot of questions to ask master and he can’t wait to get more details.


	7. Chapter 7

Masa closed his eyes shut after dropping himself on the couch with a thud. Master’s word still hung at the back of his mind.

“A big part of that boy liked him,” Master said, giving him an intent stare. “I could see it in his eyes, but it won’t work smoothly”

Hearing the change in master’s tone, he glanced up at him.

“That boy will repeat the same process over and over. The person himself is not aware of what he was doing. He was too focused on building a wall rather than breaking it down. A defensive mechanism he created himself”

“After all that he’d been trough who could blame him” He smiled lazily. “I would have done the same if its me on his shoe.”

“Do you really feel that way Masa?” Master asked.

“Are you okay with him like this?”

“Are you planning on watching over him for the rest of your life? Letting him turn his back on any chance of happiness for himself?”

“I don’t really know myself,” he replied sourly. “I like how he relies on me too well to relinquish any part of it, but at the same note, I know it’s wrong”

Master understood the meaning at once. “Now you’re catching on. You’re going to have to let him go, regardless how much you love him. You are not the one he needed, and you have your own life to deal with”

“He may improve overtime, but healing is impossible with you around. On the other hand, I strongly believe that this man maybe the perfect match for that boy. Nothings wrong in giving him a little push in the right direction isn’t it?”

“If the opportunity presents itself, but how can you be so confident master?"

“Something about that man got my attention. He is not your average salary man, so just take my word for it”

“Ill keep that in mind uncle” That was their last words to each other. Leaning back against his leather couch, he kept pondering what he would really do when that time comes for him to let go.

“You look troubled?” A familiar voice echoed at the hallway, followed by the sound of incoming footsteps.

“Kai, welcome home. How’s work?”

“Busy as usual, so what’s with that frown?”

“Nothing, I was just thinking”

“I’m guessing it has something to do with Akihito”

“You could say that”

“Hmmm, don’t think too much, you’ll ruin your handsome face”

He hesitated for a long moment before replying. “I won’t,” was all he said while watching Kai ascend the stairs up to his bedroom.

 

 

“Ryuichi we have confirmation from the guy we talk about that time. He’s back in town and had replied to our email” Kirishima relay the information to Asami.

“Good. Do we have everything ready?”

“Yeah, I have everything prepared since last week, so all we had to do was met with him in person. I can take care of that alone, you have meeting schedules with our other project managers”

“I appreciate the effort Kirishima; however you’re praises got me curious, so I would like to be there when we close the deal with this person. You can go ahead and re schedule my meetings earlier to get it out of the way”

“Fine, that shouldn’t be a problem. Try to avoid staying up so late tonight and get some rest will you. You look like you’re not having enough sleep lately”

“You should be able to relax a little now since you’re company is doing well. Pushing yourself hard every night will only have the opposite effect on your body”

“I will do that”

Going home early was easier said than done. He got out of the service elevator of he’s penthouse at midnight like every other night. The rest of the hours till morning will be spent on drinking. Sleep doesn’t come often to him lately. He’s mind kept on coming back to Aki.

He really wants to see him. It had been an extremely busy day, but his mind is dominated by someone even thought his body is telling him to relax. The two forces would not cooperate for any rest. Each drink served only to churn the nausea that roiled in his stomach until he exhausted his strength, and then, at last, he could shut his eyes and slipped into darkness.

Asami was sure tonight will not be any different than the other nights, but he was very wrong. Leaning on his front door was none other than Aki in flesh. He had to blink multiple times to make sure it wasn’t a mirage of the blond boy.

“Hey there”

When Aki waves and smiled at him he strides faster, and was on the younger mans side in a heartbeat. He hugs the boy tightly to his chest while crashing his face in the others neck.

“Asami?”

 “God, Aki...I missed you so much” Without missing a beat, Asami responded.

Aki gasped at the man’s declaration. The brush of breath against his fleshy neck was enough to warm his body, but the words uttered to him was stronger than any other aphrodisiac shaking his core and resolve.

“Asami I...” _This can’t be happening_... Akihito could not breathe at all.

He couldn’t move his tongue to speak, as the older man buried his smaller body away in his arms and crushed him there.

“I...I was longing for you all this time. I know we agreed on things and I stood by it, but”

...Asami stop as if realizing he’s about to confess his true feelings for the boy. _What if he scares Aki away for good? He has to approach this differently._

“I...was just worried; you disappeared on me...sorry about that”

It was a little awkward after a while, but he knew exactly what Asami meant by those words. They are both falling for each other. He wants the other as badly as the older man does to him.

 _Should he play his chance with Asami?_ He kept his distance twice already, but it’s evident he love the older man was getting deep.

“...I...Asami...you said I could come by the last time...so...I’m here. Is that okay with you?” He hesitantly asks the older man.

It was only then that Asami caught his body was cold from standing outside the door too long.

“How long have you been waiting here?” Asami pulled him out of his warm embrace with worried look.

“...About two hours more or less...Why?

“Jesus Aki...your body has become this cold...Why didn’t you...”

“Didn’t I what?”

“...Call you, or come inside your home on my own?”

“If you’re really that concern, then why don’t you warm me up yourself Asami?” The blond boy’s invitation was very bold as he coyly smiled at him.

Asami gazed down at him, observing his blatant reactions and twisting his full lips as if to suppress a smile.

“What am I supposed to say to that...bold and frank as always”

The intimate figures on the dimmed bedroom have lost their clothing the moment they crossed the threshold, impatient, anxious, and hungry.

The whole penthouse was still cloaked in darkens since Aki refused for any lights being turned on.

Ever since the first night, Aki with a single purpose of one-night stand, had been bewitched by the older man. His willowy frame, roped in lean cords of muscle, everything necessary and nothing in excess, was hovering above him with all the glory.

Asami’s long arms took firm hold of his head framing it tenderly in he’s hands, while his blazing tongue stubbornly playing inside his own mouth.

One of Asami’s hands captured his chin, forcibly changing its position to deepen the angle between them. A long moment passed, and he could do nothing but receive that sweet offering of gentle kisses from those soft lips, which he missed so much for the past few months.

Eventually their breaths began to come short and they parted. The aftertaste and heat lingered on their lips.

Their hands roamed in the space between them, drifting across an arm, back, cheek, grazing skin only to fall away, as they stare at each other eyes like the world had stop spinning and only the two of them exist.

There had been an expression of peace and innocence on Asami’s face, one he had never seen before, and he had found it incredibly beautiful. He wanted to see that expression at all times. His own thoughts brought a sudden flush to his cheeks, and before it could be detected he pressed his face against the lean, angular peak of the older mans shoulder. The face he’d seen now was completely far from the exhausted ones he saw earlier just outside the door.

“Hey, what is it?” the older man ask. Fervent curiosity was plastered all over his face.

He was unable to formulate an answer on the spot; instead his hand rose to brush aside the sweat soak weight of the man’s bangs, hanging low and heavy across his brow. He swept away the black locks from those golden eyes and his heartbeat skipped, a twinge of regret mingling with relief as Asami lowered his gaze for another kiss.

“You know Aki, I could kiss you forever” 

“...And I want you inside me Asami”.  

The older man wanted to so bad. To be envelope in Aki’s heat, but he had other plans in mind; tonight he will make this boy unable to live without him. He will carve his very existence to the boy’s heart and body by using his own passion until Aki felt like he would die of pleasure he’d never experience before. He would do this since words alone will not suffice. He wanted the other to open up to him, crave for him like he had for long tormenting months.

Aki may want an occasional rendezvous, but he wanted something deeper. It would be hard to achieve his goal for the younger man to be his lover, but he’s desperate enough and willing to try anything at this point. He started as his tongue painted a glistening trail on the boy’s pale porcelain skin, neck, making the boy’s body jump. The tip of he’s tongue tickled the boy’s throat, and whenever he strongly sucked on it, the others back trembled with ecstasy.

Asami was experiencing for the first time what it meant, to be truly madly in love with someone, and he would convey this to his partner tonight, how it felt. The pain, the pleasure, the longing, so even if there were a chance that Aki would try to run away from him. The memory he created was there to hunt the boy when he’s alone. He is not sure if this would work, but it was too late for him to back down now. The stage was set and he was the one that fell to its trap first.


	8. Chapter 8

It was the day of the meeting with Mr. Akihito Takaba.  The creator of his next jewelry line was coming within the hour. Asami’s phone rung for the next conference call, but he’s not all there to focus, which is not like him at all.

His office door ajar ever slightly, as Kirishima nods at him by the door signaling the arrival of their project creator located in the other meeting room. Asami place his hand on the mouthpiece of he’s phone.

“Start without me, I’ll catch up once I’m done with this call”

Asami’s mind was still plagued by Aki’s sweet moans as he begged him to stop. He was clearly satisfied to execute his plan. That night he spent countless hours pleasuring the boy until the young blond passed out.

Asami didn’t care if he’s own body was not satisfied he will reap the benefit from it in the long run, at least that was the result he was hoping for. The fact that Aki accepted the spare key he had given to him was a progress itself, so that his future lover would not wait outside in the cold night air, it had brought a smile to his face, grinning weirdly to himself.

The meeting started while the owner is pre-occupied. Kirishima has other modification to clarify, as Takaba Akihito sat across from him, while overlooking the floor to ceiling massive glass window of Tokyo city.

“Well, as you know, the owner is notoriously averse when it comes to details, and so far he likes all your designs. We just need to adjust some minor changes; especially the commercial part for the promotion, if that’s okay with you”

“He also wants to meet you in person and will be here after he’s done with his other conference”

Takaba’s hands were folded, a picture of serenity. His confidence showed by the way he carries himself in front of the meeting, granted it was only the owner’s secretary.

“I’m sure it won’t be a problem,” Akihito laughed, a little too giddily.

“I mean, how hard can that be since changes happened all the times in every project, and owners are normally involved right?”

He settled back in his seat thirty minutes in the conference, when the door opened up to allow the owner’s entry. Both occupant of the room averted their gaze as Kirishima stood right away to introduce the man to him.

“Akihito Takaba, this is Ryuichi Asami the owner of Sion Incorporated.”

Akihito’s face froze as documents scattered on the floor that fell from his grasp. He could feel every individual muscle straining to keep his smile in place. The throb of his heartbeat muffled all other sound ringing thru his ears. Golden irises ensnared him with fixed stare. He could not breathe at all and his knees felt locked and shaking under his slacks.

_Shit. Please God, not this, anything but this._

Asami was taken aback momentarily since he didn’t recognize Aki at first glance. The young creator was wearing glasses and suit, but looking closely there’s no doubt it was his Aki. He let the silence build up the suspense longer than it should be. They stared at each other, however Asami quickly recovered from the situation sensing the younger man was thoroughly shocked with his own discovery of him.

“Takaba Akihito. We finally meet. Its good to put a face with your portfolio” as Asami extend his hands to the others without showing any emotion.

It was the same deep voice that was whispering sweet nothings to him last night. The one, who had embraced him, pleasured him in the privacy of his penthouse. Akihito swayed a little; as he bent down to pick up the documents on the floor with Kirishima’s help.

“Same here Mr. Asami nice meeting you, too” as Akihito shakes the owners hand. “Oh, sorry about that, It was clumsy of me to dropped it” Although it seemed impossible to speak, he somehow managed to utter the words required from him.

“I saw your masterpiece, it was excellent”

“There was something that especially intrigues me, the unisex ring you created which in my opinion has more meaning than it looks. The golden citrine gemstones is very unique together with the clever design”

Akihito’s jaw set a little. “Um... thank you”

That amiable smile was still in place, but it was more like a waxworks expression, it was obviously a fake one that Asami could see passed the facade. So, Asami’s intuition was right. Aki or Akihito was not comfortable being in the same room as him business wise. It was ironic. Why is that?

Maybe he’s reading into this too much. The fact that they have a rather occasional relationship is clear as daylight. The rest of the conversation went on smoothly; at least Asami thought it was. He occasionally caught himself stealing a glance more than once to Akihito’s side. He had to re-assure himself that this is it. The mysterious boy he has been dreaming to know countless time was closer than he can imagine.

How their personal life would play out after this encounter is a different matter altogether. The mere thought of worst changes in the future between them made his stomach knotted up a hundred times over.

 

Akihito loosened up his tie with shaky hands the moment he stepped out of Sion building. Each breath he took seemed to sizzle in his lungs. He felt confused, angry with himself and betrayed. He was about to puke, not because he didn’t know what was coming, but because he did. He broke off, shivering at the memory, and how terror had hit him with such paralyzing force. It was like a rewind of what happened in the past that he had buried, destroyed, burned, anything to forget the whole thing. Masa was right, for whatever reason he has a knack with attracting trouble to him without even trying. He’d tried to play it out like it was nothing, which has the curious effect of making trouble slobber all over him more. The current incident could destroy him this time around.

It was a catastrophe, one that could send him running back to therapy indefinitely. The older man had the upper hand and he knew it. Akihito found himself standing in front of the door at Masamune Publishing and Marketing Services.

“Aki, what happened to you?” Masa asked, concern for him cutting through his thoughts after opening the door.

“Jesus, you’re pale as a ghost” He watched him with interest.

For long seconds, Akihito Takaba could do nothing but look around the office where he was standing, as if the size and decorated walls held a clue as to why, and how, he indeed up here, thirty minutes after the closing of his new project. Was he wandering outside for that long?

Masking his eyes into the most plausible tired look he could manage, he stalks the couch toward Masa with every intention of ignoring the other.

“Nothing” I was just not feeling well today and I’m really tired. The conference took longer than it should and there were a lot of changes, but it was a done deal” he stated with a grin that didn’t quite meet his eyes. It was hollowed. He had thrown himself on the couch and shut his eyes tight.

“Do you really think that you can deceive me Aki?”

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”

“You should know better than to lie to me”

_Silence_

“Fine if you want to be that way, then go home you idiot. You look like crap” as the other slammed the door shut rattling the hinges.

Unfortunately, that wasn’t the first time Akihito and him had that conversation, almost word for word. In fact, they were approaching double digits. Masa is harsh when he tried to hide things from him, and Akihito is stubborn enough to try all the time.


	9. Chapter 9

“We need to talk.”

Akihito’s words were bitten out in the coldest tone that conveyed end of story and Asami’s mouth went dry. The person he cares about the most was standing in front of his doorstep like a stranger. He feared for this moment since the meeting. The young blond was icy cold, not the same warm person he welcomed whenever they meet. He hated it when his intuition is right, but he knew all too well this was coming, but not too soon.

He cracked opens the door allowing the other access to get inside. There was no greeting or traces of a smile on the others face. His visitor halted ten feet from the doorway.

“Look, I’ll go straight to the point here Asami. I would like for us to stop seeing each other. I’m not fond of screwing anyone I worked. I’m here to give you back your key, and next time we see each other. I would like for us to be just business related individuals and nothing more. I hope you can respect my decision. You project will be done on time, and if you’re pressing to launch the product sooner, I could push it earlier than schedule. Two weeks off the original two months allotted time.”

Asami just sat there, watching, listening, and waiting for any signs of hope to come. He even wishes for Akihito to lie to him or even just pretend that he was confused or something. He would do anything to have him stay. However, he is also aware that’s not how it’s supposed to be handle. Everything had changed when they went their separate ways at his office. He’d accept just about anything right now, rather than risk driving Akihito away for good.

“I respect your decision, but if I may ask a question. I do believe I deserve that at least” Asami finally talks if he’s going to let this boy go, he might as well ask the question now.

“Was there any reason as to why you’re cutting our ties?”

“Is it because I own the project and the company?”

 

“Was it the pay? Or it’s just me?”

 

 

“Look, I know I owe you an explanation, but I won’t go into details alright.”

Akihito averted his eyes outside the window to collect his bearings. He didn’t want to crumble down in front of the older man, and he felt dangerously close to it with every passing minute.

“I have a bad relationship when I was just starting into these marketing and designs. The owner and I...we...had a forbidden relationship that went out of hand, since then I make it a point not to do that ever again, so it’s not you or the pay. It’s just our situation right now is complicated. You’re my client. I don’t want it to come between us. I’ve struggled so hard to forget, to put it out of my mind, but our current relationship felt like a betrayal to my resolve.”

Akihito steadied himself. He didn’t want to bare his demons so painfully like this, but it’s ripping at his chest, twisting to come out. Every word uttered were all real, but it also cut right trough his heart like a razor sharp blade.

“I had a good time. I do, were compatible in so many ways, but from where I stand It will not work. It is what it is. Please give me your word Asami. I need to make sure were drawing the line.”

 

“You have my word Aki, and I’m looking forward working with you soon” was Asami’s last sentence. What else can he say?

The young man’s mind was formed on cutting ties, and nothing he says now will make any difference. With a heavy heart, Asami lets go of his love, but he will not give up on the younger man.

Not a fat chance.

 

Akihito stopped for a brief moment and pressed his eyes shut. Being normal sounds great but in reality his fighting against the lethargy through his mind and body. He’s planning on finishing this project sooner, heck if he can finish it in one week he’ll go for it and get it over and done with.

The designs for the jewelry line were done, and he plans on marketing the accessory to the younger generation since Valentines is coming. It should boost the sales ensuring its success. He just needed to find the right model for the billboard and TV commercial. He can always ask Masa to borrow a model or two.

The billboard concept would be an intimate scene. A man wearing the golden citrine jewelry with a high-class suit, loosened golden tie, glass of whiskey on the table, black leather couch to complete the background. The male model will be holding a woman facing the wall while tracing her back, which showcases the ring worn by the male model.

He had submitted the proposal of the billboard ads to Kirishima two days ago, and it’s only a matter of time before he gets the ok for it. His phone and email are being blown off daily. Masa and Rena are just one of the few. Akihito knew he’d pay for ignoring the others, but he can’t let anyone delay this project. The rest of his problem will have to wait until this one is over.

His phone was flashing Kirishima’s phone number after an hour. “This is Akihito, hey Kirishima any news yet?”

“ we have the okay for the billboard with one condition. Our company will provide you the models, so let us know when you need them for the ads photo shoot.”

“I can do it anytime; your company is calling the shot on this one. We can even schedule it tomorrow if the models are okay with it” Akihito stated.

“Alright, tomorrow then” Kirishima ended the call.

 

Meanwhile at Sion Incorporated top floor...

“What was that for Ryuichi?”

“What do you mean Kirishima?”

“Volunteering to be the male model for the ads, do you know how much attention you’re going to get?”

“That’s exactly why I’m doing this to attract attention. It should gain us enough popularity,” Asami answered.

“Bullshit Ryuichi, you never once place yourself in the spotlight. What’s driving you this time? I’ve been noticing you’re on the edge lately, ever since you met Akihito Takaba. Something you want to tell me?”

“It’s complicated, Ki.”

“Oh, I beg to differ. Nothing can be more complicated than dealing with your sister, so try me, I can handle it, so spill it” Kirishima was sarcastic.

Asami had no choice but to give Kirishima some details about him and Akihito minus the juicy sex part of course. His brother in law, slash secretary might pass out with that. He also briefs him of his plan to get Akihito back to his side.

Surprisingly enough, Kirishima seemed to become bewildered when confronted with unexpected turns of events, and this was both amusing and endearing to Asami. Or rather, in his secretary’s history of composure and calmness, it was likely that this was his first shocked reaction. Kirishima’s cheeks were colored with discomfort as if the word “male lover” was inscribed there, and Asami’s body bent with irrepressible laughter.

 

“Ah, that was hilarious. You should have seen your face Ki, but seriously I mean what I said.”

“I desperately want him back. Enough to put myself in the open to obtain it, so please understand I need to do this.”

“There’s nothing funny about this.” Kirishima finally got his composure back. “Anyway, I have enough surprises, and if you’re that desperate, of course, I’ll help you.”

“Oh, by the way, Ki, please ask Kitara if she could model together with me for the TV commercial?”

“ Ryuichi of all people we could ask. Does it have to be her?”

“Why not she used to model before and out of all our close friends, she’s the best choice for this, or I can always ask your wife as an alternative.”

“They’re affection to me will surely show within their actions and theirs eyes. Perfect chance to gauge emotion from the photographer.”

Kirishima had to smack his forehead, why does he even bother to suggest or ask? Ryuichi is clearly had another backup plan in every single word he says; there’s always a comeback to it.

“Fine Ryuichi have it your way.”

Kirishima would never ask Kitara unless it’s needed. She has a sadistic streak and will take all the pleasure knowing it’s affecting anyone for her entertainment.

 

Akihito was glad the ads would be completed sooner. He was done preparing all the equipment needed for the next day, and all that’s left is to lie down and rest his weary mind. Whenever his alone like tonight, Aki’s thoughts would drift back to Asami. He realized a while back, that his falling deeper for the older man, but he can’t discard the armor he created to protect himself.

“You have my word Aki, and I’m looking forward working with you soon ”

Asami had said, and Aki played that last word in his head numerous times, and he had been at a loss to decipher the loneliness that had tinged Asami’s eyes. Why, he had wondered, had he woven such words with such sorrow? Now, that wistful echo seemed to claw at his chest. Deep in his heart, He had known that Asami’s gaze bore the weight of love that would never be requited, like how he was when he was younger.

No, this wasn’t heartbreak. He was just in the throes of that left-behind kind of melancholy that he was more familiar with than he’d like to be. Just this sort of achy feeling, that other people were going somewhere with their lives, while he stood in the same spot long ago.

The days spent at Asami’s side had been warm and relaxing, and he had hoped for the two of them to share all of their days to come like that always. The older man had shown him the utmost of kindness, but his manner had never lost its hint of caring reserved for him alone. Asami’s eyes were always filled with love that swells through his heart, and that’s what scared him the most.

The feelings of love had always brought the nightmare to him. Making him feeling unbalanced as memories of his traumatic past comes flooding with it. There had been only the helpless misery of her unanswered love and series of whys; he had felt nothing else.

He had lost his mother to sickness, then his father kicked him out at the age of seventeen and had vanished him from his side.

There had been a period when it had broken him, but he had gathered the tattered pieces of himself and found his footing again, just because of a simple fact that he has fallen deeply in love with a man he thought felt the same way as him. Loss and hurt, after all, had been no stranger to him, and what he had told himself that he was “used to it by now” had not been mere bravado but a fact of sorts to ease his mind. It was his bitter constant companion.

 _“Asami,”_ he sighed, sprawled sleepless across the bed, and the sound of the man’s name slipping from his tongue triggered a familiar spike of heat between his thighs. The urge was keener now than ever before, and tears slowly rose to his eyes.

_“What the hell am I doing?”_

Aki fought to turn his thoughts away from Asami’s golden eyes, or sharp, bold features, or the dark, sweet, velvety tones of his voice.

But the afterimage of his broad shoulders, rocking back and forth as they had so many times before on top of him, flashed across his closed eyelids. Was it his own lewd and shameful body, or is it Asami's fault for making him so frustrated, as his teeth dug cruelly into his lip.

_“Damn it...Fuck you Asami.”_

Aki can’t help, but curse the older man still; it was so much better than admitting he was pathetic. No matter how hotly his fever burned, the idea of comforting himself was so abjectly wretched that he could not bring himself to lift his hand in relief. He needs to stop this madness or else, it would be harder to cope moving forward.


	10. Chapter 10

The location set was ready at 7:00 am the next day. Lack of sleep and deprived of relief made Akihito crankier that morning, but he has a job to do. The models from Sion are nowhere in sight, and his patience is running thin like soap bubbles ready to burst in the air. He was about to call Kirishima when a black BMW came to a complete stop in front of the studio. His heart falters to beat for a second knowing it was Asami’s car.

Kirishima stepped out of the drivers’ side and opened the passenger seats. A beautiful, elegant, light honey brown eyed woman with curly black hair cascading to her back vacated the car and was follow by none other than Ryuichi Asami.

The pair looks picture perfect as the woman sauntered towards the studio, Asami on her heels.

_“Please God, don’t tell me this two are the models.”_

“Mr. Takaba, sorry for running late there was an accident on the freeway, but this two are the model our company promised to provide” Kirishima introduced the lovely slender woman and Asami as if everything was ordinary about a company owner modeling in person.

Aki nods and offered his hand to the woman. After exchanging a few words, he then glances sideways to Asami with a questioning look, and as if sensing what his thinking Asami replied to his silenced question.

“Like I said Mr. Takaba the ring you created intrigues me the most, so I decided to help you market it by becoming your exclusive model.”

Asami interaction with Akihito was much distant and very formal. He can’t help but felt a stinging pain in his chest. The older man was just doing what he had asked, but why does he feel disappointed and hurt at the same time?

The task had at last grown so daunting that he dared not look at those golden orbs. It didn't sit right with him to see the older man so close to another person. He didn't need the discomfort handed out to him on a silver platter. Ever since he’d broken off the deed in the older man's penthouse, Akihito has been trying to put himself back together slowly, but obviously, it’s not working as it should.

“I would like to model for the TV commercial as well” Asami finished his sentence while passing by him. Akihito caught the man’s scent. The same feeling from last night was renewed in his mind. He was so familiar with that scent lingering on his skin after their encounter and would last for few days even after. Self-pity is not welcome at the moment and life goes on regardless of how he felt.

_“Shit focus Akihito, focus, you’re a pro, and you can do this.”_

He thought as he played that mantra over and over again thru his head. Taking a deep breath. He barks at everyone to take their position for the shoot while the models were changing. It will be the hardest photo shoot of his life.

Without his knowledge, a pair of eyes was watching him close by. Kirishima was instructed to observe Akihito for any signs. Discomfort, agitation, jealousy, pain or just about anything that would give away his emotions for Asami.

Kirishima’s wife Minami had agreed right away, but he had to tell her the truth and details of the plan, of course with Asami’s permission. She was curious about the person her brother fell in love with, so she accepted the task to analyze the situation herself.

Fifteen minutes had passed, while Akihito was adjusting the focus of his camera lens. He caught two figures emerged at the side of the room where the models are changing. The woman was obviously very attractive, and so was Asami. With simple makeup and accessories, that highlighted the pairs features more. Akihito couldn’t believe his eyes. Kirishima was right. Nobody else could quickly capture what he’d picture in his head than these two. He may have been shocked, but this is totally worth than he was willing to admit regardless of the situation.

The props were carefully in places and with the model's presence, it comes to life as soon as the pair poses in front of it. The woman was wearing a flirty red silk dress with v-cut design adorning the back. The citrine gemstone in the long string was placed in the middle of the back dress as part of the designs. Her curly black hair was more attractive than before after a few hairpin was used to frame the side of her hair, and the rest cascades down her spine. She is wearing the same ring as Asami and a pair of citrine earring. Her long slender legs and red high heels made her taller than she was.

Asami’s seductive look was on a whole different level looking straight at him. One of those instants, when the guy was so hot, you just want to rip off their clothes and devour them on the spot. The loosened golden tie and his flirtatious grins towards the camera just blow his mind off the clouds, but he refused to show the older man that.

He gave the signal to his team and shot after shot was taken. No matter what angle he took Akihito can’t find any flaws in the two models are somewhat connected sensing each other feeling and responding according to it. The girl’s eyes deeply cared for Asami as she tugs his tie closer and looking at the camera at the same time.

Without a word, Aki realizes she clearly states “mine” that made his blood boil, and the greenhorn of jealousy was rearing its ugly head on him.

He wanted to say “get your filthy hands off my man”, but he lost that place when he cut his ties to Asami that night. Still, the thoughts were tempting inside his head.

If only he could snap his fingers to speed up the time. Watching the older man with someone else is the last thing he wants to see. Towards the end of the photo shoot, Akihito was starting to feel the impending anxiety attack as his hands slightly shake and he’s having hard time breathing. Was he that affected enough to trigger it?

_“Please God, not now, just a little bit longer please.”_

He closes his eyes, breathing in, and out in calm interval. Masa would always tell him about this exercised when he’s around during the attack, as the other was massaging his back at the same time.

The combination of deep breathing and thinking about Masa help him a little, but not enough to stop it. Akihito was ready to call out for a break when Masa pushes the door of the studio open as if answering his silent call.

Masa had barged in as if nothing important was going on inside. Briskly walking straight to where Akihito was standing apparently furious.

“What the hell Aki? Do you know how worried I am? Are you ignoring my calls for days? Are you alright?”

The table was turned to Asami, as series of questions flashes in his head.

Who is that man?

What is his relationship with Akihito?

And why is he looking so pale from where he stood?

“Thank you, everyone, it’s a wrap,” The man suddenly bark his orders to the crew, and to Asami’s surprise everyone just follow along. The stranger is clearly no stranger by the way he acts. The girl next to him is the same as she wrapped her hands around Akihito’s slim waist when his legs gave out, supporting him to stand.

Something is wrong with this picture, and it’s gnawing on Asami’s guts.

“I’m sorry for the commotion ladies and gentleman, and my name is Masa” as the man approaches them.

“Akihito will be out for a while and judging from it, the photo ads are done. I will have the results ready as he promised without any delay, so if you excused us, I would like to take him home. He was under the weather for a while now and needed rest badly.”

“Is he alright? Asami’s mouth finally manages to move on its own.

“Yes, there’s nothing to worry about. He has a habit of overworking himself to its limits, but he’ll be good as new after a much-needed rest.”

The man named Masa was about to leave with Akihito and the unknown girl when Asami’s little sister Minami blurted out his name.

“Masa...Is that you?”

He abruptly turned his gaze towards her with a frown; then his face lights up as if recognizing someone he had not seen for a while.

“Minami is that you?”...” Oh my god, look at you, what are you doing here?”...How are the kids and your family? How long has it been, it’s been far too long right?”...Does this mean you’re modeling again?”

The man called Masa just bombarded his sister with questions and when he hugged Minami while pecking a kiss on her cheeks. He could see Kirishima’s staring daggers at the other man. Ready to choke the guy that was manhandling his wife. Well...not quietly manhandling, but more like his being so overly familiar with her.

Minami must have had senses it since she created a distance allowing room for questions.

“Masa, before that. What happened to the photographer is he sick?”

The momentum was like pouring a cold bucket to Masa, since his demeanor change from being happy to something more like concern and panic.

“Oh, I almost forgot. I need to go now. I’ll see you again, and if you want, come by my office. I have new supplies for you to look up okay”.

Just like that, the group was gone out of his sight.

Asami was not in the mood for anything as he rode with Kirishima and Minami back to Sion. His questions still lingered unanswered and most likely it would never be answered, until he caught the conversation his sister and Kirishima was having in the front seat of the vehicle.

“So, care to tell me who was that man slobbering all over you?” Kirishima asked.

“Oh stop it you, big oaf”...Don’t tell me you’re jealous of him?”

“His name is Masamune. He designs and coordinates my favorite clothes line that you’re so fond of and my favorites magazines, and he’s gay for your information”...He likes it up you know...in his ass”.... she bellowed in a fit of laughter.

Asami sometimes wondered if his little sister had ever learned anything about manners from their parents, or the fact that Kirishima could even tolerate her natural behavior of speech. He was sure she didn’t mean to be harsh on the subject. She just used words that sometimes hurt other people without thinking it trough first.

“By the way Ryuichi. I thought that boy is your prospective love? Don’t tell me you have a love triangle with Masamune and him?” She was glancing at the driver's mirror to see his reaction.

“Yes, and No” was all Asami can muster at the moment before the car came to a stop as they reached his destination. Kirishima will drop him here and then take his sister home.

 

.... Meanwhile, Akihito’s condition was getting worse by the time they reached home. He can barely walk and if Rena’s hands were not around his waist tightly. He will inevitably fall flat on his face, kissing the ground. His pupils are dilated, and he was starting to pull his hair out just to feel the presence of pain.

“Knock it off Aki, don’t pull your hair like that” Rena shouted a little to Aki as soon as they were inside his bedroom. He can’t deny that his cousin was just worried about him.

“No, I’m not. You know I’m not.” Akihito reassured her that everything is just fine.

“You’re doing it right now; I wish you’d just come out and tell me instead of hiding from me for days, and be honest about it,” Rena answered back.

“What triggers this attack, this time, Akihito?”...It was Masa’s voice trailing from the doorway that startled them both.

“God, how many times do I have to say it?” Aki was getting irritated.

“Don’t curse at me, Aki.” Masa cut him off.

“I wasn’t – fine. Sorry.”

“Well – are you?”

“Am I what?”

“Sorry for what you did, or your hiding something from us?”

“NO! GOD, how many times do I have to – “?

“I told you, don’t curse – ”

“I wasn’t fucking cursing, Masa! NOW I’m fucking cursing!” Akihito had lost it.

“See, I can’t even talk to you when you’re like this.” Masa waves his hand in the air.

“You don’t even hear me when I DO talk to you!” Aki shouted back.

“Well, maybe we shouldn’t talk for awhile, and just tie you up as you want it.”

No one said anything for a moment.

“Rena... please go get the leather handcuffs and whips, and help me tie him up on the bed,” Masa commanded averting his eyes to hide the pain he also felt at the moment for Aki.

“Masa, come on – maybe he would calm down after a while if he rests, and then he’ll be back normal – ” Rena pleaded to Masa.

“I don’t know who you are sometimes kidding Rena. Look at him...his becoming more and more aggressive – he needed pain, and we both know that of all people” Masa replied raising his voice in annoyance.

“I’M NOT AGGRESSIVE, MASA! I’m perfectly OKAY!”

“You don’t act like it. You idiot masochist” Masa was starting to lose his temper too.

“Jesus Christ, does anyone here ever listens to me!” Akihito stated as he heaves for a constant flow of air into his lungs.

“I can’t believe you just said that.”

“Aki... I’m sorry... I didn’t mean it like that; it’s just you make me so MAD when you – when you’re like this alright...You know I’m doing this to help you and were worried about you” Masa’s voice is much softer now.”

“I know...fine just do it already before I hyperventilate” Aki agreed.

Rena came back from Masa’s car with a black leather suitcase. Her eyes were watery, and she was silently sobbing. She handed the bag to Masa. She refused to look at Akihito and was going to sit down when Akihito stopped her on tracks...

“Rena please, I don’t want you to witness this.”

Akihito was begging her to leave the room...away from what was about to take place inside.


	11. Chapter 11

Masa’s footstep was heavy like iron on the wooden floor stairs going down. He found Rena in the first-floor living room curled up like a child sitting. Akihito’s bedroom was located on the third floor of the condo. The second floor was a workspace, and the lower floor consists of kitchen, dining room, entertainment room, and other necessities.

Kai was waiting on the couch with Rena and was trying so hard to keep her mind away upstairs. Masa’s lover was barely home since he’s always on call at the hospital. Being a doctor was hectic, so on all occasions, he would seek out Masa just to spend time and catch up on their relationship.

“When did you get here Kai?” Masa asked and hurried to his lover’s side. He desperately misses him especially today after what happened to Aki.

“You weren’t home, and you’re not answering my call, so I figured you’re here. How bad is it this time?” Kai asked looking at both of them.

Rena kept staring down at the floor. It was the topic she wasn’t particularly looking forward to each episode of Aki’s life.

“He’s sleeping now, but we used too much force. He could have a fever any minute” Masa answered.

“Hey, Masa? “How long do you think this self-inflicted pain will last before Aki recovered from it?” Rena muttered.

“I don’t know.”

“It’s been seven years now” Rena tried to control her voice, but it didn’t sound convincing. She hoped they couldn’t hear how nervous she was.

“. I keep asking myself that all the time Rena, and I’m starting to question if this is healthy for him” Masa slump next to Kai seeking the other’s comforting touch.

“That’s why I keep telling you both over and over, what he needed is someone to overwrite his trauma. Psychologically speaking it should work. You’ve tried every possible method right, but the only effective treatment so far is avoidance techniques. Still, even that is temporary, which focuses on keeping him occupied with other activities. Replacing the act of self-harm with safer methods that do not lead to permanent damage. Once his body catches up, you’re both back to square one.”

Kai stopped talking after he realized what’s he’s saying was too complicated for anybody that’s not familiar with the medical field.

“Okay, let's try this. What you’re doing is temporary relief like a plug. You stopped the leak, but the problem is still there, ready to find another hole to leak out. You can keep on placing plug every hole, but eventually, you’ll have to replace the whole pipeline right, same theory. It’s somewhat similar to a temporary memory loss when a person was involved in an accident. That person has to experience the same stimulation, shock, and adrenaline. It would trigger the brain like a jumpstart. In Akihito’s case, it was caused by someone he loved, another person he cared deeply has to overwrite it and stimulate the healing process. Another example, if you’re afraid of heights you have to overcome that, same as water and any other fear related issue, however, once you’re past that fear you’ll gradually heal on your own little by little right?”

The pair looked like they were able to follow that explanation, so Kai continued on his medical report.

“Akihito is showing signs of self-loathing and self-harm. His self-loathing was mainly related to his father disowning him and disappointment to himself. At his tender age, it could impact his morale and self-esteem. He felt somewhat responsible that it triggered the gap between father and son, now self-harm is a different topic. My only conclusion for him to respond mainly to inflected pain was Akihito’s body develops a coping mechanism. When he was exposed to that physical and mental abused for an extended period of time. He’s body developed that to cope with the situation. Under extreme conditions such as, intense feelings, anxiety, depression, stress, hurt and emotional numbness human body starts to deteriorate. It needed an outlet to fight back. Some patient develops PTSD or loss of will to survive. Akihito was still lucky. His determination was unyielding. It could have been worse; he could have gone insane, or slit his wrist repeatedly just to feel the surging pain momentarily. He could have thrown himself intentionally to danger, but he didn’t. It just his body was craving the idea of suffering, and I give him credit for fighting it back. The only question is the solution right?” Too much or too little is unhealthy to anybody, but if you find the right balance, then you found your cure” Kai ended his explanation.

“Kai you lost me there again” Masa interjected with enthusiasm on learning more if it means he could help the other man in any way he can.

“Love and pain. If you can find someone that Akihito love, or even someone he genuinely cares, then teaches that person how to administrate small doses of pain, in theory, his body will get accustomed to it. Since the one receiving the pain have complete knowledge of the situation, Akihito will respond to that like morphine. Simple right. There’s a lot of method like that out there, but Akihito needed to open up first and discard his armor a little for it to work. Trust between two people is also imperative...In short, a prospect lover is an ideal cure. Ever heard of bondage plays between couples? That should give you a rough idea.”

“Stop right there Kai, I don’t think it’s something you want to say with Rena around” Masa reacted knowing full well where the conversation is going if Kai continues.

Rena’s mouth fell open. “Oh, shut up Masa, don’t you think it’s way too late to act all decent now. I don’t care about that; we are talking about my cousin here. It’s not like I don’t have an idea on things you know, and how the hell are we going to do about your theory Kai? I get the jets of it, but we both know he’s very aloof. He’d rather have a one-night stand than having a life long partner. Heck, I don’t remember him staying with the same guy for two days much more a lover”...Forget that idea Kai. It’s not going to work.”

“We don’t have a choice now are we?” Masa somewhat agreed with the idea of a different method. “Unless you want him to be like this or worst have him pay a shrink for the rest of his life, then we can consider your suggestion”...I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to spend the rest of my life whipping him like that, and what if you get married and I’m not around Rena? What are you going to say to your husband?”

Rena didn’t like the picture that Masa was painting for her; sure they are cousins, and she cared for him too much, but—.

“Both of you need to keep your eyes and ears open. I’m sure we could find a break somehow, somewhere. We just need to grab the chance once it presents itself.” Kai interrupted the heated moment. There was a long silence that passes between them until Masa broke the mood.

“Now that this discussion is over, I’m leaving him to you, Rena. Do you mind staying here for a few days?” Even just tonight, I’m sure he’ll wake up with a fever from that entire lashing. I’ll get a few days off myself, just in case.”

Masa suggested while asking Kai for approval who nod at him with a smile. “Oh, I almost forgot could you treat his back and wrist for me. I didn’t want to bother him when he passed out. The supplies are inside the leather case. Call me if anything else happens okay, and get some rest too” Masa left with Kai and closed the door. He was exhausted just like her.

Alone at last Rena gathered all her courage to visit her cousin upstairs. She tried hard not to cry after seeing the aftermath of his induced pain session. It’s still hard for her to accept after all this time, that Aki had to go through all of this just for a little relief. She never thought it would be this bad, and she wasn’t prepared for this.

She slowly applies the cold ointment to Aki’s back to soothe the pain. There wasn’t any wound anywhere just angry red welts that looked painful even for her. Aki’s wrist had scarlet marks from struggling with the tight leather handcuffs still attached in his bedpost. She felt her tears starts to roll down her cheeks dropping near Aki side. Her cousin looks terrible, tossing and turning as if feeling her sympathy and telling her to stop.

She prayed to any God listening up there to give him peace of mind and happiness, but she knew it would never be answered. Akihito has to fight this on his own. However, she wanted him to know she’ll always be there for him.

She caught something Aki muttered while his closed eyelids fluttered.

“A.... ugh.... Asami, please... don’t leave m—“

Swallowing the lump in her throat she rushed outside and swiped her phone to dial Masa’s number. She was trembling too much and had dropped her cell once. Could it be the clue they were waiting?

“Who is this Asami?” She thought while waiting for the other to pick up the line.

“Hello, Masa. I think I may have found something that could help him.”

 

***

Akihito heard the details from Rena about his last session with Masa. Him becoming aggressive and hysterical, passing out and was cared for by her, was not surprising at all. It happens a lot in the past too. To say it’s embarrassing now was a century too late. Just the knowledge that his dearest cousin knew about his weakness is disturbing, but he was glad at the same time. He wondered if he had a fever, which is common after each session.

He only remembered passing out. Something cold. Hands traced the fading scar on his back, and soothing his pain; his body relaxes to that touch. Was it Asami’s? The older man had been plaguing his waking hours; even his slumber was not safe to his manifestation. He had pushed himself harder this time; maybe burying his head with work to distract his mind of “Him” was a good idea.

“Hey Aki, I’m going shopping what do you want to eat? You can’t keep doing this type of lifestyle. It is not healthy. You’re living like a zombie. You should get out the house and have fun sometimes. Isn’t that your usual routine before, so what made you changed this time?” Rena snapped him out of his reverie.

It was then that he realized that he hadn't had any decent meal lately, and if it wasn’t for his cousin staying over looking out for him, they might as well stick a gravestone with his name on it somewhere, since that’s where his heading. Not intentionally killing oneself, but it's pretty obvious his lacking motivation to better care for his daily needs. He nibbles his food; he worked longer hours than usual at home, and he barely sleeps, then starts over again the next day. He followed the same innocuous routine. Rena was right; Aki’s life was boring and monotony. He hadn’t cruised the night since he met the older man. Does that mean something?

Maybe it’s time to stroll the nightlife once again and forget about him. He was after all the one that ended it; he can’t complain, right? He’ll do just that once Rena leaves once again. She’s been in and out of his house going home for few days, and then she’s back again to his condo.

“Surprise me, Rena,” he grinned at his cousin.

“Alright, I’ll be going now and be a good boy and stay rested. No more work today”

And with that Rena left his house. He smiled at his cousin’s attitude for being a mother hen to him. She’s an excellent woman, and her future husband would be very lucky.

Now that’s out of the way and his alone again he might as well play his game instead of thinking unnecessary stuff. Masa delivered the picture he’d taken from the photo shoot to Sion Incorporated two weeks ago after he carefully chosen and edited the film, he develops himself. It was a like reliving the same scene just by looking at them on prints. Akihito had asked Masa to take over the production of the billboard and the product. Sion Incorporated can handle the rest of the marketing since everything was already prepared ahead by him.

He canceled the TV commercial it was no longer needed. The billboard alone caught the eye of mass consumers. The product Sion launched came flying out of shelf like hot cakes. He was glad everything worked out, and he’s not sure if the success was because of his talent or is it because of the models. Whatever it was he’s not interested and will no longer accept any project from the company. He had enough saving to last for years even if he doesn’t work for a while. He can always take Masa’s whims on his clothesline even if it’s part-time.


	12. Chapter 12

Rena reached her destination without any delay. It’s been a tough two weeks since Aki’s last attack. The next one shouldn’t happen anytime soon, but they will not gamble on that anymore. It’s high time they all face the music and take matters into their hands.

“What took you so long?” Masa waves at her occupying a corner booth near the window where she had lunch often with her cousin. The restaurant is busy as usual, but this time, there’s another person added to their company. The elegant lady stood up to greet her and sat back.

“You have no idea how hard it is to leave him like that you know. I hate lying to him, but I know we had to do this. Rena whined at Masa and then paid attention to their newest friend. “So how is it in your end Minami?” she asked the elegant lady.

“Well, according to my husband he’s pretty much the same as your cousin. He’s avoiding me as well, such an idiot brother I have. Let’s move to the next step since business is doing well and I don’t think my brother can use it anymore as an excuse” Minami suggested.

The trio had been in contact for eight days now. Masa remembered the name Asami. It sounded so familiar and it took him four days to realize it was Minami’s last name before she got married. Connecting the dot from there was easy. They had explained to Minami what’s going on between her brother and Akihito, and what Kai suggested about finding a lover, a cure.

Minami laughed at first finding it ridiculous, but she came around after two days. Maybe it was her husband’s words that convinced her.

According to Kirishima, her brother is acting like someone had his heart broken. He’s just functioning as he needed. He comes home after working long hours, shower, sleep, or drink and sleep. Repeating the same routine day after day. At this rate, his health might deteriorate, or he’ll become alcoholic, and as the only living relative around, she just can’t stand and watch her brother becoming a mess every day.

“I set you up an appointment with my brother tomorrow night Masa. I told my husband to slide you on his daily schedule. You should be the last on his list, so take your time whatever you need from him,” Minami explained to Rena and Masa.

“Just promise me that my brother would not get hurt by your plan, or I won’t forgive you. I understand your concern about helping Akihito, but we are talking about my big brother here, and I don’t take anything for granted when it comes to my family.”

“Thank you, Minami, I owe you for this one, and I always pay my debt. I just want to know about his feelings for Akihito. I only have them both in mind, so you don’t need to worry” Masa answered with a smile. “Rena stay with him for two more days I don’t want him disappearing on us until then will you?”

“Okay, I already took a vacation at work anyway, so it’s alright with me” Rena assured Masa and Minami.

They spend the rest of their lunch tying loose end and chatting.

“Are you sure bout this Minami?” I mean Aki is a boy and can’t have kids. Pairing him with your brother... you have to say goodbye to...you know... future children” Masa hesitantly asked.

Minami was silent for a moment...”Funny you ask. One thing I have to learn when our parents passed away, is that life is too short to be spending on trivial matters if that’s where my brother's heart is, then I would support him wholeheartedly. It doesn’t matter whether it’s man or woman as long as his happy and the other person is not a gold digger or heartbreaker. Besides, I have three of my own already, and I’m sure those rascals will have kids of their own if you’re worried about my family’s bloodline I have that covered.”

Akihito is ended luckily to have understanding people around him, now if only their plan goes smoothly. Akihito doesn’t like to trouble individuals and worries about him. He will resist the idea. They had to stop all possible escape routes for him. They know it’s cruel, but they meant well. Next step is to talk to the other person that will endure whatever is to come.

 

Ryuichi Asami keeps staring at the object in his hands every two seconds. He can’t believe the turn of events that happened just moments ago. The apartment keys sparkle while he toys with it, as if any given time it would disappear from his grasp, then he would place it back on top of his desk to be pick up repeatedly over again. The reason was, not just any other key. It was the key to Akihito’s condo, a key to his aching heart. He had given up hope to be with the younger man a while back. Losing someone he loves was heartbreaking, but knowing his out there, breathing the same air, looking at the same sky as he makes it a little tolerable. The pain will remain closed inside his heart, and he would probably never love anybody else like he did with the younger man.

That was his train of thoughts until an unexpected visitor graced his presence two hours ago, the last appointment for the night that would change his life and he was grateful it happened.

“Good evening gentlemen, to what do I owe this visit from Masamune Marketing? I thought our business was done after you delivered the photographs.”

He was cold as he greeted the man whom he didn’t know too well, until the delivery. Another man was accompanying him that he also didn’t know wearing a lab coat.

“A moment of your time Asami-san, this is about Akihito Takaba.”

Masa came forward with the reason of him being here. He got what he wanted, Asami’s full attention and no excuses. “I’ll get to the point and please listen carefully. I will only say it once. Do you honestly care for Akihito with all your being?”

“I only wanted your honest answer without questions or else we are just wasting both our time.”

Asami was still for a moment. The question was very direct, and he likes that in a person. He knew why this young man succeeded in life at his age by approaching things directly.

“I’ll give my life for him.” was Asami’s only answer with no trace of hesitation. He didn’t care if another person was hearing it at this point. He can’t lose any more than what he already had. He can’t let the chance to have Akihito back in his arms slip. What worse could happen?

Masa was not expecting Asami to come forward instantly as well. They may not know each other, but they have something in common...Akihito.

Any other given time they could have been good friends by the way they approach things, but this is not about him. It’s about someone important for both of them.

“If that is the case, then I needed your help. Please let me formally introduce my friend and myself. This guy is Dr. Kai he is Akihito’s primary doctor. Let’s drop the formality and just call me Masa.

Masamune starts by allowing Asami to know the details of Aki’s condition. The older man was composed, but he was aware that it was affecting him deeply by the way he breathes and his body language. Letting another person in on Aki’s darkest secret is not something Masa would have done in any ordinarily given days. However, this man may have been the only salvation for his friend, and he will not let this chance slip by him, even if he loses Aki in the process, or the other start hating him whichever comes first.

Asami did what was asked of him. He listened earnestly, and never asks a question, not even once. When lady luck came knocking at your door, you don’t turn it down or question it. Tonight he needed all the luck he could get; if it means Aki will be his forever. The statement that came out of Masa’s mouth was like razor arrows shooting at him, piercing his heart word by word.

What kind of people pushed Aki to be like that? The very thought was making his blood boil with fury, but he would not complain today. Asami understood now why the younger man was acting the way he did. The occasional time they spent, the young man always leaving and the way he reacts with lights on while having sex. The way he approaches him the first night, they met all make sense to him.

Aki is afraid to get hurt, and he chooses the easy way out by having one nightstand and no commitment. The time the younger man was missing for an extended period was probably because of his attacks.

Dr. Kai explained the medical part of the conversation and his theory for curing Akihito. The pair didn’t need to ask him twice. He would have done it himself if he knew the reasons behind those actions.

“I can’t disclose to you what happened in his past. That is not my place to tell, and I will not cross that line, not with Akihito. You need to get the truth from him and ask whatever question you need answers” as Masa stood up, then slides a key towards Asami.

“He should be home tonight. We already arrange everything for you. Make sure to do what I said if you needed to, but I hope it doesn’t come to that. Just tell him how you feel and don’t let him run away from you. Reach out to him with all your heart. If you can’t sway him with words, then decide what needs to be done, just...please... don’t hurt him. Please take good care of him for me” Masa’s trembling voice trailed off to his ears before the door closes. “Use that key if you need it.”

It was the secret message embedded to it the last act of kindness by a dearest friend of his love.

 

There was a hint of sadness in Masa’s voice, and something else Asami can’t explain, but he’ll get the truth from Aki, and this time he will not hold back, he will get him back to his side, whatever the price he would give it all.

Kai understood what Masa meant by those words while trailing his lover steps away from Sion. Giving up Aki to Asami was probably harder for his lover than anybody else. Masa had loved Akihito unconditionally for seven years, but he’s letting go of the other, simply because he’s not the right person for the job. Masa is not what Akihito needed. Someone else has to fill that gap inside his heart.

Dr. Kai met the odd pair six years ago. It was the roughest time for them. His lover had decided to seek medical help. The younger man was reluctant, but Masa dragged him to his father’s clinic. Kai is a surgeon doctor, but he has enough knowledge in psychology since his father specializes in that field, and it was a coincidence that his old man was out of the country that day.

Aki’s heart was closed tight at first, but eventually, he started to open up to him. He then commences to provide references and suggested different types of method for Masa to try, after seeing the young man was on the path of self-destruction. Aki’s wrist has a bandage on both hands since he was beginning to cut himself open. It was only when he suggested the avoidance techniques that Aki slowly calm down.

Kai’s admiration with Masa had grown to love over the years. The dedication Masa gave to Aki was unquestionable. He always knew back then Masa loved Aki, and it was one-sided. The young man may view it as a close friendship, but Masa cares deeper than that.

Call it unrequited love if you may.

Masa told Kai long ago that he would have had given up everything for Aki if he knew the other man needed him as a lover, but Masa was right, Aki only viewed him as someone close like a brother and nothing more. The younger man will always be innocent to that truth Masa had hidden inside his heart.

The day Kai confesses to Masa. Kai understood he was only second to his life. Aki will always come first, no matter what time of the day. Kai made sure that boundary was respected, but that doesn’t mean Masa love him less. It was that understanding; connection and support that made Masa accept Kai’s feelings. Now that the day has come for Masa to let go, Kai will always stand by him, and be there to support him like he always did.


	13. Chapter 13

Asami finally stood in front of Akihito’s door, after loitering around the area for thirty minutes. He felt like a teenager who’s going to confess his feeling to his crush for the first time. He had parked the car long ago, but his feet won’t move. What if Akihito turns him down again? It was easier inside his head earlier when he was driving and plotting his confession.

He licked his dried up lips and tried to steady his racing heart that was about to burst from his ribcage. Dear God, he will have a heart attack soon if he doesn’t find the courage to ring that doorbell. He snuck his hands to his pocket to make sure he still has the keys. The knowledge that his love was just on the other side of that door is nerve wracking to him even at his age.

Then it happens, he pushes the buttons that sent a buzzing sound inside the house. He feels so elated; his chest was sending torrents of loud thumping when he heard Aki’s voice inside.

“I’m coming, just a minute.”

Akihito just finished drying his hair when the doorbell rang. It’s about time Rena come home. It’s 10:00 o’clock at night when he glances at his wall clock. As soon as the door opened, Akihito huffed, “What took you so long Rena?” and then holds his breath. Standing in front of his door was not his cousin, but the very man he’s been trying to forget.

Asami was about to pass out from the intensity his feeling at the moment. A bead of sweat has started to form on his forehead, and his hands were clammy. He was glad it was nighttime, or he would feel uncomfortable in front of beloved.

Akihito, on the other hand, was pale, like a ghost had appeared on his doorstep. He suddenly slammed the door shut by accident before Asami could say anything to him. Aki clutches his fist, while his back rested against the closed door closing his eyes and gasping for air. Not because of attack, but his heart rate speeds up with the sudden urge to run, and throw himself into Asami’s arms. “Shit, what have I’ve done?” He thought.

“Aki, open the door. I want to talk to you... please” Asami voice pleading on the other side made him tremble.

“G...go away Asami...we have a deal...and you.” He was stuttering with his words. “...You...promised... Asami, go away” Akihito’s tears started to fall. Silently he walked away from the door one hand clamping his mouth, while the other clutches his chest.

Of all the things he had to endure, this is by far the hardest, and if he sees Asami one more time. Aki knew it would break down his defenses, and he couldn’t afford that, not again, if that would happen he might not be able to recover from it.

Everything became quite outside. He thought Asami had given up and left. Akihito was ready to let his emotion flow out. His shoulders start to shake as his tears trickled down his cheeks, but he stopped after he heard a rustle by the door again.

A key was being inserted at his front door that made his breath hitch and stops his heartbeat for a moment.

 

Asami stood there after the door slammed in his face, he was shocked at first, but then, his determination was not fickle. He pleaded hoping to reach the younger man even a little, but when Akihito spoke, he could hear his trembling voice. It gave him hope to know he was affected by his presence here.

Asami reluctantly slid the key that Masa had given him, and without permission, he slowly opened the door just in time for him to catch a glimpse of Aki’s silhouette upstairs, on the second floor. He knew Aki’s about to close all his chances to hear him out.

“I love you, Akihito...I need you... and I know you feel the same for me, so please don’t fight it.”

He clearly saw Akihito stop breathing, while his back was facing him. He took that chance and continued talking in unison to his silent strides upwards. Like a hunter, being careful not to spook his prey while mesmerizing the younger man with his voice.

“I let you walked away with my heart once, and I will not let you go again for the second time. Not when I know that there’s a small chance you felt the same way for me.”

“You’re the only one I ever desired like this in my life.”

“I need to have you near me” Asami was two steps away from Aki by the time he finished his words.

Akihito didn’t move. He was just standing there frozen, breathing hard.

How did this happen, Asami have the key to his house?

Only one person has a spare key to his house. How could Masa betray him like this?

How Asami could utter the word, he’s heart was longing to hear?

Asami continues to confess, “I tried to pull myself together. I thought that I could go on without you. Guess what I was, so wrong, then I realized, how much I care for you.”

“It’s always been you since the first time we met that night, but you left me like what happened between us don’t matter. I asked myself countless times if you were only playing with me, maybe moving on came easy for you, but not for me.”

“I should never have trusted you with my heart, but I know deep down inside, you must have reasons for all the actions that you did, so I’m here once again. I want you Aki and this time, will you please accept the love I’m offering to you. I don’t need anything else if you’re by my side, and I hope you can feel how serious I am with you.”

Asami embraces Akihito’s figure from the back. He wanted the other to see his sincerity, but it’s all right, at least he was not running away.

” Would you find the strength within you to love me, or even just let me love you?” he whispered to the younger man's ears, tracing his lips to the crown of his head.

“I want you, Akihito, all of you, your heart, your love, your happiness, and pain. I want all of it. I don’t care about your past or your flaws. It’s what made you who you are. Let me heal your wounded heart, and if you’re not ready to open up to me now. I’ll spend the rest of my life waiting for that day. They say time can heal our wounds, and even if it takes me forever, I’m not letting you go Akihito. I’m staying right here where I belong.... by your side.”

Asami’s eyes became a golden flame, as he turned Akihito around to face him at last. “I want to join with you completely, to feel your body close around mine. I want to hear your cries in the night and know that it’s me you desire. I will never betray you, and if you allow me in your heart. I would always be there as long as I live giving you all the love and joy my heart and soul could provide you.”

Akihito caught the word “Betray” and his body reacted to it. He starts to struggle and break free from Asami’s embraced.

Masa betrayed him in the end. They all do, and this causes his body to shake.

Asami sensed the changes right away and had acted by instinct.

“Akihito look at me” shaking the young man in his arms.

“Masa didn’t betray you. He was kind enough to inform me knowing you would hate him; it was all conceived to help you.”

It was the only thing Asami could think of for Aki to react and when the younger man still didn’t respond he close in for the kill.

Akihito’s evasive responses were not enough to discourage Asami. The fact that the older man’s words evoke his sleeping heart, and if that’s not sufficient, his solid defenses he created over the past seven years was slowly strip away from him today.

Asami’s golden eyes lowered to mere inches from his own, and their beauty took his breath away melting his remaining resistance.

“Stop... Asami—“

The older man will have none of that today. He drank Aki’s muffled protest and cries by sealing the others lips with his and if Akihito was feeling hot earlier. His eyes are smoking now with desire.

“Akihito.”

“Akihito.”

“Akihito.”

Asami chanted this every time his lips brushed Aki’s skin reaching out to Aki with his innermost feelings.

Akihito quivered by Asami’s actions especially when the older man feverishly kissed his wet stained eyelid and cheeks. Everything boils down to this moment.

The older man's passion burned all his worries away. There’s no escaping for him now. He clings to Asami as he let his emotions flow, frustration, happiness, doubts and relief was one of a few he felt at the moment.

He also acknowledges a robust, vigorous, burning, rise out of the deepest parts of his body. Making contact with Asami’s parched lips after a long time made him realized how sweet his taste was.

Asami, on the other hand, was in no hurry allowing Akihito to decide but firm on holding on to him. He waited until the other calms down, and his emotions were stable before speaking again.

“Akihito, will you make love to me? I want to show you how it feels to be love...not sex,” he whispered to the other. The younger man nods as Asami pick him up. “My bedroom is upstairs.” The younger man whispered.

Their feelings finally connected to each other. However, Asami had a hunch Akihito needed more time before he opens up to him. Seven years is a long time hiding your dark secret, protecting it, and it will take a while longer to spill that secret to another, even if it’s him.

 

 

Two months have passed, and Akihito felt elated almost every day. Asami had spoiled him rotten. He would wake up in the morning with Asami’s face gazing at him, or licking his fading scars after they made love. Breakfast in bed is also frequently occurring whenever the older man spends the night with him at his condo.

Akihito couldn’t ask anything when the other is around. They cleaned the kitchen together while flirting shamelessly with one another. The older man would rub against him as he walked by and whenever he got the opportunity, he would touch him or press a light kiss on his willing lips, or just hold him tight until he’s pressing for air.

They would spend time in the living room and sat by each other on the plush sectional sofa while Asami put his arm around him and, for the first time in his memory, he felt safe and cared for as they snuggled and relaxed on the couch.

Before both of them knew, Dawn had come and the early morning sunshine started flooding the living room with light. Asami would be lying on his back while Aki stays comfortably on top of him. Their legs were tangled around each other, and he had his head on other’s chest.

Akihito would be content listening to the strong, steady beat of his Asami’s heart, and the gentle touches playing with his hair makes his eyes grew heavy.

“Do you need any help?” Aki asked as he watched. They had just finish grocery shopping.

Asami strides over to the refrigerator and start loading his arms up with food placing the items on the countertop by the stove and shook his head.

“Thanks, but I’ve got it under control. It would be nice if you kept me company though I love seeing you here with me.”

Aki nodded and walked over to the other side of the stove and leaned his back against the high countertop. Asami bent down and gave him a breeze kiss on his lips. He quickly lifted Aki and sat him on the counter comfortably before he went back and turned the oven on making sure Aki is safe and near him.

Asami noted before that his lover’s kitchen was almost bare. He found out later from the younger man that he’s not comfortable with the sharp stainless knife.

Little by little he encourages the other to watch him cook and get used to it. At first, Asami bought a cooking knife that is used by kids it’s still sharp, but not stainless. He didn’t ask the reason why. He has forever to discover that.

Right now all he knew was Aki is his. Lately, the younger man was enjoying his time just watching how he prepared food.

“Where did you learn how to cook?” Akihito asked.

Asami was pulling out a couple of pots and grabbed some frozen meat from the freezer. He then opened the bag of frozen cookie, set a few on a large cookie sheet and placed them in the oven. He opened up a package of bacon and started to place some slices in a pan. He filled one of the pots with water and dumped the ingredients for miso soup. He thinly sliced the salmon and tuna belly for the sashimi. They are Aki’s favorite dish and dessert for later on.

Asami shrugged.

“When you lived alone as long as I have, you basically either learn to cook or eat take out all the time. Since I’m not a huge fan of fast food, I taught myself how to cook.”

“Have you ever...you know... lived with anyone before?” Akihito reluctantly asks.

“No. I’ve been in a few serious relationships, but for some reason or the other it never worked out, or lasted long enough for us to move in with one another.

Asami is always careful with his answers around Akihito. He could have asked How about you, but he chooses not to. It may trigger something inside the young man.

As Akihito heard Asami’s explanation, he couldn’t understand why this man’s previous relationships hadn’t jumped on the chance to establish a partnership with him. He was smart, strong and very sexy...way hot every inch of his...body and more. He couldn’t help but smile at his good luck in finding such amazing man, and just the thought of Asami’s body made his blaze in heat.

He groaned in embarrassment. Of course, his actions didn’t escape Asami’s attentive gaze. The older man studied him for several moments as if he was trying to read him.

“Come here, Asami,” Aki coaxed. He spread his arms and legs out, beckoning Asami to come over to him. The older man turned the burner down and walked over to him. He pulled him into an embrace, looking into his troubled eyes.

“What’s wrong Akihito...?”

“Nothing.”...”I just want to thank you, and I feel very privileged to be with you.” Asami leaned down and lightly pressed his lips against his.

“You’re very welcome,” Asami murmured as he delicately ran his hands up Akihito’s chest and pressed a gentle kiss between his shoulder blades.

Akihito leaned back against him for a few moments and Asami heard him take a deep cleansing breath.

“Thank you for giving me a chance to love you,” Asami whispered as he continued to touch his lover with tender fingers.

 

“...The kitchen... is...a...mess again Akihito uttered while Asami carried him to the nearest shower. How do they end up like this all the time is beyond him? They would always start with a kiss, then touch, and before you know it Akihito would be clinging to Asami like his life is hanging in the balance.

The older man just chuckled at him every time “Does it feel good Aki?”

“Yes... yes, it does...more!” he pleaded. He always does. In two months he didn’t have any symptoms of his attack.

Maybe because Asami always made sure his pre- occupied, branding him. Anything that made him uneasy the older man is there to sooth him. Ever since he mentioned to Asami about his fear of knives, they have frequently been fondling in the kitchen around sharp objects, utensils, and bread and butter knife. Asami made sure he explodes to intense orgasm there, so now whenever he saw his kitchen all he could think about was Asami’s silhouette pleasuring him and the rest are a blur.

 

Asami’s life, on the other hand, was turned upside down, but in a good way. Masa was kind enough to give him more inside information about Aki’s condition and what precaution to take. Avoidance technique is a little complicated for a straight-laced person like him, but he promised his lover happiness, right?

If he’s honest with himself, he could even say he’s having fun learning new things.

Kirishima even caught him reading indecent materials hidden inside a folder while conducting an important meeting. Asami was always proactive, punctual and Kirishima knows that, but he would never have guessed he would go back to puberty stage going as far as hiding porn mags at his age.

The production of the new jewelry line was expanded due to massive consumer demands. Business owners, department store, boutiques and jewelry store are lining up to carry the product and to sign a contract with Sion Incorporated. The owner of the company should be happy right, but Kirishima just noticed Asami was so engrossed with the folders he was holding on.

It was very rare for Asami to make eye contact with his visitors and would nod if he agrees, or just look them in the eye like what they’re saying is alien to him if he doesn’t agree. Kirishima has to be on the lookout taking notes for later on. After an hour into the meeting, he walked by to Asami’s side and slides another folder for more proposal information. Kirishima happens to glance at what Asami was holding, and to his surprise, the secret documents underneath the folders were something he would never dream of seeing. Not with Asami at least.

“What the hell was that Ryuichi” Kirishima was frustrated after the conference. “What if you made a mistake and overlooked something. It would cause us a profit.”

Asami looked at Kirishima “I was multi-tasking Kirishima, and besides I did pay attention and didn’t miss any details.”

“Look, I know you’re an accomplished man, and I never doubted your abilities, but will you please stop doing that in the middle of meetings and conferences?”

“I don’t care if you’re exploring new grounds with your relationships do it in your own personal time. Reading bondage and how to tie ropes in the middle of company sessions is not APPROPRIATE, and please have all those couriers sent to your home address. I refuse to receive another parcel in this building knowing what’s inside those packages. It’s giving me ulcer for Pete’s sake” Kirishima was huffing out for air after that outburst.

Asami knew that bondage is not for everyone, certainly not his brother in law, but he can’t help it. He needed all the knowledge he can get his hands for his lover so far he is making progress. There’s no sign of episodes, as of late since he confessed that night, and his lover is certainly will not have one.

He made sure of that.


	14. Chapter 14

Asami had learned how to handle his lover by keeping him occupied. He had read multiple books, video, and even attended an adult online webinar whenever he can on his own down time. He’s certainly not planning on accomplishing Ph.D. or MBA in the subject, but Akihito will appreciate his growing education, and newfound talent when the times comes.

He was amazed at the choices he had out there, like S&M or BDSM. Who knows a simple rope can go a long way or the fact that one can use it to a hundred style of tying up someone, maybe more. It was the first time he discovered it, and he was lucky that day he was alone. Masa had just dropped a box of “reference materials” and when he read the first pages of the book. He had to close it back in a flash. Beads of sweat were forming on his forehead and his throat was parched.

Masa had a satisfied smile on his face after dropping the box. “If the S&M bothers you, I definitely won’t mention the BDSM. After all, it might disturb you in a very personal level. You should tell me if you have a problem with it, and I’ll find less intimidating ones.”

“I think I can manage” Asami answered hiding his discomfort.

“Then there is nothing more to say. Everything is fine; then I’ll take my leave.” Masa wave at him goodbye.

Asami knew there are toys for women, but for men, oh boy...he was in on a big surprise, talk about variety. Texture, length, and width are just a few in regards to man toys. There’s also spanking, cane, handcuffs, leather costume, cost play and much more. They even have undies for occasions.

It took him months to get comfortable with the idea of doing all of it to Akihito without hurting him. He even practices tying ropes when he’s home alone. He was sure he was blushing at first, but knowledge is the key to his objective. He’s not planning on dominating Akihito; it was the other way around. Aki dominates his feelings, thoughts and his mind.

Aki had asked him to try his new skills on him one night. Asami was reluctant but had agreed nonetheless.

“Can you tie me up Asami?” He’s aware of the older man's bondage studies to satisfy him.

“Are you sure about this?”

“Yeah I’m sure. I know your studying to treat me, and replace Masa, and I want to see it first-hand tonight.”

Everything was going smoothly. They were kissing passionately, and Asami had a tight grip on Aki’s wrist until Asami stopped in the middle.

“What if I get carried away, Akihito? What if I tie you too hard, or hurt you, or ...Aki, I would never forgive myself if that ever happens.”

Asami’s eyes lowered to the bed cradling his head with one hand.

Pulling his wrist out of his lovers hold, Akihito was visibly upset. He got up and left the other still sitting on the bed.

“No, Asami. It’s...it’s not you I’m worried about okay, shit.”

Asami could see aggression and frustration flare in Aki’s eyes while facing back and forth. Chest heaving up and down in long deep breaths.

Akihito stops and shrugged. “I am selfish, Asami, and that’s the truth. I just keep pushing you and taking from you. You’re more tolerant than you should be. Five months Asami and you never once ask me why, I am what I am now, and it’s fucking eating me alive inside.”

“It’s not an issue if it means you might seek someone else as an alternative. You are mine, and I have to be tolerant until you’re ready. I promised you that remember?” Asami uttered while getting up the bed hugging Aki against his chest. “Look, I’m jumping the gun here and I’m willing to learn anything if it means having you near me, and mine alone. Teach me, Aki, I mean please I’m trying hard here.”

 

Akihito shook his head breaking free from Asami’s hold again, emotion making itself visible in his trembling frame. “Fuck, Fuck, Fuck,” he muttered up in the air staring at the ceiling in frustration.

“You have no idea what it means for me to admit my flaws in front of you. I feel useless and filthy. Why do I have to be fucking weak that time like an idiot”?

“Akihito, you’re a survivor, not an idiot. “There’s nothing weak about you after holding on for so long. In fact, you’re stronger than you think. Give yourself some credits.”

“It is a weakness, Asami. I want...I need for you to help me overcome this, but I don’t want to push you in that direction. Like I did with Masa. Molding you into something I need is not fair for you, and once you’ve tasted being dominant, it might change you. How come something that I treasure, something that makes me feel so alive be tainted because of me, something so intimate and pleasurable is tainted because of one bastard like him?” Aki wondered aloud raising his voice at once.

“Then talk to me, love. Tell me if you’re ready.” Asami raised his hand to wipe away a stray tear. “I admit that it’s something I needed to wrap my head around and get used to the idea of doing, but it’s not going to be enough to change me. Sure, it’s a lot different from what I usually know. But I also want to help you forget whatever it is more than anything else. I just need a little help from you that’s all. I just need a little confidence to myself.”

With a smile, Asami warned his lover, “I have no intention of letting you go or letting you get hurt again. We’re lovers, remember? And lover shares pain and happiness.”

“I know that, and I’ve never treasure anyone like I do with you. That’s just one of the things that scare me the most with this whole thing, Asami. It was just something stupid that I did in the past. It’s not even worth mentioning or remembering. What you and I have right now is much more important to me.”

“I’m listening to love, so tell me were you raped, abused. Tell me what’s bothering you and who hurt you?”

“It wasn’t rape. Breathing hard and profound, Akihito’s voice was filled with sorrow. Was it because of Asami’s presence that his temper is under control at the moment?

“I was naive for thinking he loved me the way I loved him back then. Victims are raped, while some scumbag like him who doesn’t give a shit about anyone except himself takes advantage of idiots like me. He didn’t hurt me at first. I trusted an asshole and paid the price for it. It was partly my fault for allowing it to happened.”

“No. It wasn’t your fault, my love, whatever it was, it wasn’t your fault.” Asami reassured him.

“You’re wrong, Asami. It was my fault. You...you just need to believe me on this” Akihito’s voice was cracking in his urgency to explain and feeling his chest tightened. “You don’t understand. You don’t know what happened. My father threw me out of the house when I got caught making out with a guy at seventeen. I gambled with my life, and nearly lost it in the process and my foolishness.”

Asami pulled the younger man's arms towards him. His eyes were red and glossy, and he saw a look on Akihito’s face he had never seen before fear lost and hurt.

“I don’t care what you did in the past. It still wasn’t your fault; you were young, and you were in need for someone to rely on. It just happened to be a wrong person at a bad time.”

Akihito struggled, but it was a weak attempt.

“He was my first man and first love. I didn’t care if he was two years older than me. I let him tie me up. I allowed him the opportunity to explore his sexual pursuit, to take advantage of me, but I didn’t expect that he have darker desires other than just playful encounters. I lowered my guard down around someone who had no feelings for me. I should have said no, and realized the truth from the start.”

“Things got out of control, and it was too late by the time I realized the truth. He didn’t care and no longer listen to any of my pleas. He was a sadist, and he even enjoyed watching me day in and day out being taken by his group of friends. I became their plaything for a month.

A long fucking month Asami, I was tied up in bed, bruised and beaten. Every time they would gang up on me it never fails. One of them will have a knife near my throat just to hear me scream, and see fear in my eyes until I passed out. When they were finally done with me, I was wrapped in a dirty blanket and dumped in an alley like an animal. I was left to die there, and I thought I was, until Masa and his uncle the bar owner found me that same night.”

“Funny Ha, the person that found me that night is the one that almost raised me. Put me back together and gave me what I have now. In return, Masa had to force himself to learn what you’re doing now just to make me feel normal, at least the closest to it, and I can’t keep on doing that around people dear to me. Even my cousin Rena had to endure that knowledge every time I have an attack. Then, there was that incident about a company owner I had an affair with when I first started this job. His wife found out. Divorce him and took all his property with her. He stalked and blackmailed me for three months, and Masa had to intervene once again for him to stop. I mean honestly. How much more do I have to take from each one of you before I learn my lesson? Isn’t that stupid?”

“If Kai didn’t have the patience to stand by Masa’s side. What would have happened to Masamune life? These things are always on my mind every second of the day. That’s why I learned to harden myself, not just for me but also for everyone around me. I didn’t keep a lasting relationship due to my fear and my horrible past. For years I longed to be loved, to be normal again without any doubt in my heart. Since I found you, another fear rear it’s head on me. The thought of twisting your personality is something I can’t handle. I might as well let you go than infecting you.”

Asami felt sick just listening to it. His stomach churned at the inconceivable crime against his lover. He wished he could kill those bastards wherever they are. Knowing the truth and can’t do anything about it makes his blood boil with rage.

It would have been so easy for him just drop the issue altogether, rather than hearing it painfully. He didn’t have to know everything about Akihito since it wasn’t important. But he wanted to. Asami had to find out what had happened, and how to deal with it himself.

He had witnessed how badly it hurt Akihito, and whatever it was that haunted him was so strong he couldn’t deny it affects him too.

“Asami, I’m not stupid. I know what trauma can do to anybody, and I am not ignoring what happened either. I admit I run away, who wouldn’t. I’m working my way through it, and it was slowly working. No therapist is going to help me more than moving forward with you; as long as you’re around, I’m fine. I just can’t stomach all this transformation everyone has to take for my sake.”

“I love you, Aki. Some things should only be shared between lovers, and I was hoping that your desires and struggles could be shared with me. It should be an opportunity for us to get to know one another. We can’t do that if we keep pretending that there’s nothing wrong with any of this right? I mean I admit I was scared earlier, but now that I know the truth, everything is going to be okay. I know I’m in control, and you just need to trust me. I also longed for a solid relationship with trust on both sides. No doubts, no secrets, and no fear. I want a future with you and not your past, so let us move on together okay? I kind of like the idea of spanking you and tying you up, though. It makes me horny just thinking about it now.”

Asami was trying to lighten up the mood while his mind is filled with ways in which he could help Akihito deal with his past, to realize that he was not at fault, and he could move on with his life. He couldn’t shake the idea that a huge amount of guilt and self-punishment were behind all of his actions. Aki had survived a serious assault and was abused mentally and physically. He knew that its poison still infected the younger man to some degree.

“Really? It does make you horny?” Akihito asks puzzled.

The older man just nodded. The distraction works after all.

“Yes. It does. It gets me hard, and that’s a bit scary, because I might enjoy it more than you think, so be prepared to taste my new skills, Akihito”

The mystery has finally been solved, and he is now connected to his young lover. He couldn’t ask for more other than to heal the other’s wounds thoroughly. Asami wraps his hand around Aki with an evil grin.

Promising sweet tortures in the future to come.


	15. Chapter 15

Akihito sat at the table for two, sipping his iced tea. Asami was on a business trip, and he couldn’t deny the sudden invitation of his younger sister. The waiter had refilled his glass twice by the time his companion for the day walk in. Minami is always outrageously late but usually worth the wait finally arrived.

“Sorry I’m late” Minami announced for the entire restaurant to hear. “I was getting a bikini wax, and it took longer than I thought.”

Embarrassed, Akihito looked around nervously. Luckily, the restaurant was relatively empty, and not a soul heard what the other has to say. He hopes that no one heard it at least.

“Just sit down Minami. I’m starving.”

“I think I’ll have oysters today; I’m feeling a bit amorous. I have something very special in mind for Kirishima since tonight is our anniversary” She declared, flipping through the menu.

“Oh?” Akihito said, warily.

The waiter approached the table and asked for their orders, the man eyes plunging into Minami’s cleavage that seems to fill her blouse in every direction. She looks stunning even after three kids.

“I’ll have two orders of oysters,” Minami said, handing the menu back to the server. Akihito ordered the grilled chicken with salad on the side and paused until the waiter was out of earshot.

“You need to watch what you say in public.”

“What? You mean the bikini wax, well; it was more like a heart shaped trim with temporary red color. That way Kirishima would know how much I love him when he dives down on me.”

The sound of shattering plates and glasses interrupted the conversation before Minami could go into more graphic details. The same young waiter stared at them, holding an empty tray, mouth open and wide-eyed. Their lunch lay scattered on the floor. The whole restaurant attention was on them. They were garnering more viewers than Akihito could stand.

“My sincere apologies everyone. Your lunches will be replaced immediately, and it’s in the house,”

The store manager bowed so low, as the waiter continued to stare at Minami. A sudden heat stung Akihito’s cheeks, and he wanted to disappear like a mist of smoke. The waiter apparently heard the private conversation he and Minami were having. The manager had to clear his throat discreetly. It was only then that the young waiter hurried back to the kitchen blushing.

“This is the reason why you should be discreet sometimes” His eyes locked onto her, seeming to pin her to the spot where she sat.

“Honey, its called freedom of speech” Immediately, she tensed muscles relaxed.

He wished Kirishima’s wife could get embarrassed, but he knew its just wishful thinking on his part, and he doubts she even knew the word, and it’s meaning. He had learned long ago that Minami is very frank and would never sugar coat anything even if her life depended on it.

“Oh?” Minami said while assessing Akihito wickedly at the same time. “Tomorrow’s Valentines Day and my big brother not around, such a shame for you to be spending it alone Akihito.”

“Right back at you. Kirishima would never enjoy your color and trim experiment.”

“I have my ways of making the impossible possible.” Her devilish grin was not to be taken lightly and for some reasons Akihito’s cheeks felt scalded. He can only imagine what that smirk meant for Kirishima.

“Should I teach you a thing or two about seduction Akihito?” Minami took one look at him and laughed out loud turning heads again that she never seems to notice.

“No, thank you. I think I can manage.” He said, suppressing a smile as he fished for money out of his pocket. “I don’t want to be a victim like that guy.” Pointing his gaze over to where the earlier waiter leaned against the counter obviously still ogling Minami.

“The guy will pop his eyes out just by staring at you.”

“Hmm, pretty little thing, but my Kirishima is still the best. You know he can eat like—“

“Stop.” Akihito had to clamp both hands on Minami’s lips before anything outrageous comes out of it again. “Bedroom activities should stay indoors, and not for everyone’s business to hear.”

“But—“

“No buts,” Akihito whispered placing the money for the food bill at the same time on top of the table.

“I think it’s time for us to go.” He gave her a fake nasty glare while keeping his voice down. He had enough attention getter for the day and apparently Minami is the only person he needed to accomplish such task.

“Wait up Aki, don’t get mad.” Minami swiped the last oyster shell, slurp it down, and then followed the other heading for the door out of the restaurant.

That’s how their date ended and when Akihito got home to his condo. He thought about Minami’s words about making the impossible possible. The idea of seducing Asami when the man isn’t even around was absurd, but it got his libido revved to a certain degree.

“There’s plenty of ways to that right?”

He thought when he spotted his laptop on top of his workstation. He pushes the circular button and the machine hums to life. The only communication he has with Asami when he’s on business trips were essential boring phone calls.

Lately, his lover has been in and out of the country and just last month he had spent their six months anniversary alone, now it seems he’s going to miss Valentines Day too. He can’t send him a flower or chocolate, it's far too late for that now, so what could he do?

Feeling sentimental he got up and lay down on the nearby sofa. Their feelings were finally connected. However, his man is busier than before. He missed Asami’s scent on the couch throw pillows where they sometimes cuddled together.

As he curled into a ball, he realized it’s already Valentines in New York. He hopped out of the couch and scurried toward the humming computer. He’d been late wishing him, but it’s the thought that counts right?

_“Happy Valentines Day, Asami. I had a meal with your sister today and as usual, it was an unforgettable experienced.”_

It was starting off all wrong as he stared at what he had typed in. He wanted it to be sexy, to express how he feel, to be the sensual and seductive form, and not the same standard emails that everyone else does. He erased what he had type in and leaned back in the swivel chair.

“What would Asami do if he were here right now?”

He thought to close his eyes at the same time. He brushes his hands on his thighs imagining it as Asami’s hands caressing him there. His nipples responded, immediately stiffening. After a few more strokes and deep breathes, his eyes snapped opens and began typing again.

_Asami, I can’t fall asleep, since you’re clouding my thoughts, making it impossible to relax. My body is heated waiting for your touch. I imagine you’re here with me, walking in on me while I touch myself. Your eyes fixated on my naked body._

_You loosen your tie without breaking your eye contact on me. You shed your coat and dropping them on the floor followed by your inside shirt. I want to run my fingers through your exposed chest. You smile, tracing my body with your eyes._

_“Take off your pants,” I say, sitting at the edge of the bed._

_You comply by unbuttoning your pants ever slowly making me want you more. I look up to your tight and toned chest and slides down at the ripples of your abdomen. Your body is captivating. I followed the trails of baby hairs going further below and my groins reacted._

_I want to lick you all over, but you’re teasing me, so I beckon you to come closer, while I wet my dry lips with perverted thoughts of what I would do next. You stand in front of me, and the tip of your hardened cock protruded out of your boxer. I stroke it gently to give you a slight sensation of my touch._

_I notice how you shudder under my skillful hand, and I tease you some more by slowly pulling down your pants and boxer together, gliding my hands to your cock in the process. You inhale, as your eyes got darker with sexual desire. I pressed you closer to my face and squeezed your buttocks at the same time._

_You have the sexiest bottom, and I wanted to bite them, like ripe plums. I have my soft lips on top of your dick, and my tongue is circling at the same time. Your gasps acknowledge your pleasure. I want to please you more, excite you more, so I engulf you inside my hot mouth. You grab my shoulder for support as I move slowly up and down your much harder cock._

_I could feel your length pulsing inside while I play lollipop with your mushroom cock tip. You tried to pull out, but I didn’t let you. I want to suck you more, deeper, and longer. I love your taste, your texture, and your scent, but you didn’t want me taking control, you want to be inside me like I want you to be inside._

_I let you grab me tightly, actually too tight, just the way I want it. You’ve been excellent on pinning me down, and the induced pain was just the right amount._

_You’re such a trooper._

_I want to fuck you so hard, but your side of my bed is cold and empty, so I’ll leave you hanging as a promise of good sex once you get home._

_Your beloved_

 

Akihito moved the arrow to send the message. It wasn’t as good as he had imagined, but it should be enough to leave his lover hot and bothered. He slept late the next morning. He didn’t have a project and had decided to stay indoors. He was sipping his morning coffee when he heard the front door rattling, and that only means one thing. Asami is home. Their eyes lock as soon as the door widens to reveal the love of his life. His lover is a picture of perfection regardless of what time of the day he sees him.

 

It’s been seven months since they started seeing each other. Since that night Akihito approached Asami for casual sex. A roller coaster of ups and down, time sure fly when you’re spending it with the right person. Asami thought about this while licking the handle of the flogger on his hands. Enticing a pair of hazel eyes that never averted from where he is. Anticipation settled low in his stomach.

Twenty minutes ago Asami was fully dressed in a three-piece suit with matching long coat. A week of absence due to his out of the country trip made him elated to be back home. He wasn’t expecting to be swept off his feet by hungry lips as soon as the door closes and locked.

Akihito was in his arms, seeking kisses like a hungry cub bruising his lips and bullying with his tongue. Dropping his suitcase on the floor where they stood. He let go of any formality and reasoning. Why not, this is so much better than sitting on those boring conferences. If this were his welcoming home party, he wouldn’t mind leaving home now and then.

He was planning on staying another night in New York; however, his lovers Valentine's email was too much for him to handle leaving him hard throughout the flight back to Japan. He thought about masturbating for temporary release, but he didn’t. He wanted to save it all for his hungry firecracker.

His partner’s hands plucked his collar forward hungry for more skin-to-skin contact, glassy hazel eyes filled with burning flames that could melt an iceberg. The younger man moaned into his mouth. It was the sort of sound that always made him stiff hard as nails.

His lover’s lips caressed his with a sweet seductiveness that made him dizzy; hips moved forward flush against the other, arms seized him tightly around the waist, stroking his back, traveling down to cup his ass clearly suggesting what he wanted just like his email last night.

Shifting his head o the side, he took control of the moment. His lover is showing signs of boldness and dominance lately urging him to make the younger man submit down to his knees, and he’s happy to oblige.

He pressed Akihito’s back against the wall and made it clear that he also wanted to know the others taste and heat just as much.

Plowing Akihito’s tongue aside, he plunged between the others lips, flicking from tip to tip against the hot cavern. He took the blonde’s hips in a tighter hold and ground both his cock and his thigh against the smaller quivering form.

“That’s it Asami subdue me. Make me submit to you. Keep my arms above my head to immobilize me.”

Akihito had a mischievous glint in his eyes. That made his cock even harder than it was when he arrived home.

“Like this?” He tugged the others wrists and pulled them on top of his head, one over the other, and held them there.

The younger man tried to struggle, as he tried not to tolerate it. “You like that? Anything else?” Asami uttered trailing kisses down Aki’s captured throat.

“Yeah, like that, tighter, suppress me even more. Show me what you got” Akihito nodded eagerly with his body responding to those words very aroused. “Undress me slowly and make me beg for your touch.”

“Shit, Akihito you’re killing me,” Asami swore. His body is getting hotter by the second; nothing riled him more than a challenge coming from those plump pink lips.

The hurried intensity to get into Akihito’s hot, naked erection made him trembles all over. His right-hand fumbles to snag the vintage jeans clumsily.

“Pull it down, hurry.... you...can...rip my clothes too,” Aki hissed.

“Come on, Asami. Slip your hands into my pants. You can do it!” as Akihito chuckles evoking the older man. He then exposes his left throat, and tried the firm grasp, yanking his arms to break free from the hold above his head, but Asami moves faster than before.

He can quickly catch on his plans nowadays.

“That’s it.... never let me get away with anything. Take me if you want me Asami, and punish me for being naughty, tease me, pinch my nipples and touch me everywhere you can in a bruising grip, brand me as yours.”

The older man responded by yanking down Akihito’s boxer before he got his hands inside forcefully, finding the flesh hard and slick in his palm. Stroking the younger man from base to tip awarded him with gasps and sighs.

“You’re getting good at this aren’t you Asami...I’m so fucking hot you have no idea.”

Akihito’s words summoned Asami’s dominating nature; at least only on occasions like this that he want to dominate his lover.

Akihito arched against him; his body shook minutely as he accepted the little sharp pain of his teeth on his throat. He pressed his cock against Akihito’s stomach and rocked once in a shuddering rhythm.

“Fuck, Just like that Asami.”

The older man released his mouth and flicked his tongue over red, abused flesh he left behind before trailing down and sinking his teeth into the slender muscle of Aki’s shoulder. He bit down hard, not enough to draw blood, but a bruise was rising even as he lifted his mouth away.

“That’s it put your mouth on me, bite me harder.” A little smirk flicked across Akihito’s mouth.

Asami was not able to hold on any longer. The need to see Akihito stark naked is so strong, and the hallway is not the place to strip his treasured one.

He slings the other into his shoulders and spanks his bottom while walking towards the bedroom. Akihito chewed his bottom lips in anticipation for the next round.

“This feels kinky.”

Akihito tested the rope that binds him to the bed post, but Asami was confident there was no way the other was breaking free this time. The plain black leather cord around the blonde’s throat is so tempting he wants to sink his teeth into it over and over. Akihito trusted him and had given him power over his body. It was too much at first, but he had learned to adjust over time.

Asami stood at the foot of the bed enjoying the beauty reserved only for him. Flicking his tongue against the handle of the flogger, he heard a sound similar to a hiss and felt Akihito pulled against his restraints again.

Akihito pressed his lips shut, but a long whine, muffled voice still escaped from it. “I’m...I’m not...I’m not going to beg tonight Asami, but you can try and make me.”

“Hmm, is that so...then maybe I will?”

The older man was smiling at Aki’s attempt to fight the urges. He caught Akihito staring at his hard cock and smiled to himself. This was exciting for both of them, as heated lust creeps even deeper. Knowing that Aki wanted him so bad as much as he wants the other.

“Tell me you want me, Akihito, as he tested the mixed suede leather flogger in the air.

Akihito’s hips bucking desperately with demands, he couldn’t stand the thrill it gave him at the swishing sound that echoed inside the room. However, he is not going down that easily. He had more experienced on being whipped than Asami. He succeeded in preventing an audible laughter from escaping his lips, but his wide grin gave away the humor he wanted to hide in a very seductive way.

“What if I said that I wanted to be spanked Asami?” Half lidded eyes focus on Asami’s face

“I wanted to be punished for being a slut while waiting for you. I wanted you to bite me, lick me, and fuck me so hard until I passed out.”

He then spread his legs wider, an invitation and offered Asami a smug smile.

Asami caught the clear medium glass butt plug snugly fitted inside Akihito, which made him swallow hard.

“I want to go down between your legs Asami and suck you so hard it would make you come. Licking your hard cock and toying it with my hot mouth until you come again hot and heavy on me. I desire for you to inflict pain on me driving me to high heaven, only to come back for more.”

The last words were more like a purr to Asami’s ears and got his full attention as his cock responded instead of his hands suspended in mid-air. Twitching and begging for release just by Akihito’s dirty talking.

Asami couldn’t shake the feeling that he was being guided into unfamiliar territory he hadn’t explore yet. His lover is creative in countering his attacks. If Akihito had been a demon, he was sure his soul would have been long gone and had lost the battle from the start.

He was already certain he had never been with anyone like Akihito and doubted he would ever be with anyone else ever again in his lifetime.

Like a drug, he knew the rush would be worth the try and experience. Nothing between them is ordinary. The possibility of addiction still hangs over his head.

One thing he wouldn’t deny to himself was his ability to handle his lover’s desires.

Akihito always submitted to him in the end and will praise him for his strength and endurance. Sometimes he wonders who’s controlling whom, but it doesn’t matter.

“So are you just going to admire the view Asami, or should I motivate you even more? If that’s the case I want the cane too.”

This time, the sight of Akihito licking his wet parted lips, seductively made him snap out of control. Asami lifted one eyebrow but gamely crawled back up onto the bed shifting forward to get closer.

“A part of me wishes I could keep this collar on you at all times, so everyone would know that you belong to me, and only me Akihito.”

“I do belong to you Asami,” the younger man agreed with confidence.

Akihito trembled as Asami unfastened the collar that was fastened around his neck. “I will always be yours like your mine.”

He let Asami’s fingers wander through his short mahogany blond hair before the older man cupped the back of his head and pulled him up slightly to take his mouth in a hard kiss. He is all but melted against him opening his mouth for more.

Asami rubbed and slapped Aki’ thighs with the flogger tip as gently as he can. Well, he tried at least, Akihito liked it rough, but he has control of the pressure he inflict on those porcelain skin.

He settled down before running one blunt finger over the length of the other’s erection. Given enough painful stimulation to arouse the younger man further.

“You were the most aggressive, domineering person I will ever encounter in my life; that would like to submit at the same time.”

Asami laughed and took a shuddery breath as Akihito moans lustfully when he plays with the cock head.

“Untie me Asami and you’ll figure out how much aggressive person I can be.”

Akihito is a very talented person, independent and vigorous. Having this person strength, physical and mental submits to his will, was something Asami would never understand. He whips the flogger one last time to Aki’s thighs before he untied his lover’s wrist. In the blink of an eye, Akihito was on top of him.

“Order me to suck your cock Asami.”

“Suck me, my love,” the older man ordered as he ran his fingers through his lover’s hair and tugged gently lower guiding the other between his thighs.

Akihito’s hazel eyes became darker in shades as he wrapped one hand around Asami’s cock. He sucks the head into his mouth groaning all the way softly in. He let the head slide into the back of his throat before pulling back slowly, and repeating the act. His eyes fluttered shut while moaning, and his cheeks hollowed like a vacuum, as he bobbed up and down on Asami’s length.

The sight almost made the older man come.

“Shit Akihito” Asami muttered as his hand tightened into a fist yanking Aki’s hair down for deeper penetration. He fucked Aki’s mouth a few times before releasing his lover’s hair leaving Aki’s mouth empty and pouting at him.

Asami flips Akihito on all fours to prepare his lover's hole. “Now stay put and let me give you the pain and pleasure you want.” He then twisted the butt plug a few times in slow motion before he pulled it out from his lover’s body. Akihito’s hot cave was twitching and in need for another type of bigger plug. He then pressed his thumb against the rim stretching out his lover’s hole in scissoring motion enough to make the penetration easier.

Akihito liked to hurt a little when he is fuck at times like this. It reminds him that time they had sex on the hard floor, and Asami didn’t mind giving him the hot little burn each and every time, only to soothe it later.

He slicked up his cock with lube and settled on his knees behind the smaller frame. He rubbed the head of his dick against Aki’s hole and spanked those luscious butt cheeks a few more times.

Catching the tight rim roughly before pushing in with one deep, hard stroke. Akihito arched his back and shuddered in rhythm to his trust. Humming his name.

“Spank me Asami please, fuck harder.”

One hand grips Akihito’s hips tighter, another spank the flesh that turned into a shade of baby pink. Asami powered up into that tight tunnel. The sound of smacking skin to skin was familiar and lewd music to his ears. Top it with Aki’s moans and he could die buried inside that hot hole.

“I love it when I’m inside” Asami confessed hissing, as he smacks his lovers butt once more scorching the skin and eliciting a longer groan.

“Love having my cock in your hot, tight ass just like this. Come for me Akihito.” Asami slid one hand around and cupped Aki’s balls. He tugged gently in a slow rhythm and stroked the others cock. Akihito cried out hoarsely trembling with his intense ejaculation.

“Ahh...Asamiiiii.”

Asami took the momentum and pulled harder, giving Aki one last pain.

“Shit...fuck...so fucking good Asami” Akihito muttered breathlessly, body still shaking in ecstasy.

Asami brushed his mouth against Aki’s shoulder blade. He bit down on the top of his lover’s shoulder, and Akihito clenches down on his cock so tight he came in a hot rush, blowing his mind into ecstasy.

“I love you, Akihito.”

Asami whispered to Aki’s ears before lowering his body on top of the younger man. He rolled on the side of the bed and pressed a kiss to Akihito’s mouth trying to catch his breath.

He cleans both of them and watches his lovers even breathing. Heavy eyelids were shutting slowly with a smile of happiness visible on its face. How he found this piece of heaven for himself was no doubt an answer to his prayers, and he thanked all his lucky stars above for having Akihito as his lover.

 

THE END


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